Sick Days
by Strawberry Shortcake123
Summary: Max gets sick. Fang takes care of her. So who's watching the kids? The blind pyro, of course! This can't possibly turn out well. Chaos, Fax, and now Eggy!
1. Fang Attempts to Make Toast

**This is technically my second attempt at a humor fic, because I'm working on a one shot right now, but this will probably be ready to put up before the other one. I don't know how funny it's going to be, but I'm going to try. This is one of those that I'll just update once a week, maybe more, maybe less, just whenever I'm bored or whatever. Probably kind of OOC. Probably not going to be the best writing in the world, either, just because that's not really my focus… anyway, enough rambling. Onward!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Maximum Ride, although I kidnapped Fang and he is staying in my fridge.**

"Fa-aaang!"

Fang groaned and opened his eyes. His digital clock said 2:00 in glowing letters. He rolled over to face the wall. Max's room was on the other side. "What?"

"Come here."

"Max, it's two in the morning."

"I don't care, come here!"

With a loud sigh, Fang hoisted himself out of bed and shuffled next door to his girlfriend's room **(A/N: this is post-MAX and they have their own house, for story purposes)**.

Fang peeked inside to see her laying on top of the covers, her face all red. He shut the door and walked over to her bedside. "What's the matter?"

"I don't feel good," Max moaned. "I'm so hot, and nauseous, and tired, but I can't sleep. And my nose is all clogged, and I'm hungry but I'm afraid I won't be able to keep anything down."

"You sound like Nudge," mused Fang, smoothing her hair back from her sweaty forehead. "Do you want some toast? I bet you can keep that down."

"Sure." She flipped her pillow over and buried her face in it. "Thanks."

Fang walked down to the kitchen and found the bread. He took out two slices, stuck them in the toaster, and went to the fridge to get some jam. Then he leaned on the counter and waited for the toast to pop up.

"Hey, Fang?"

Rolling his eyes, he called back, "What?"

"Can you bring me a bucket?"

Oh, gross. He ran to the garage and picked one up. As he ran back by the toaster, he realized it'd been in there forever and tried to pull the handle up himself. It wouldn't budge.

"Fang! I _need_ it _now_!"

Cursing under his breath, Fang ran up the stairs and into Max's room, where he shoved it under her nose a split second before her dinner came up. Trying not to watch, he busied himself with holding back her hair and stroking it.

"Okay. I'm good. Where's my toast?"

"Downstairs. Be right back."

Halfway down the stairs, he could smell it. Once in the kitchen, he realized it wasn't the _right_ smell. And when he got close enough, he realized little sparks were flying out of the toaster.

"Damn it!" Fang yelled, grabbing it and yanking out the cord. The sparks didn't stop. Smoke was floating toward the ceiling, and the fire alarm started beeping.

"Fang? What the _hell_ is going on down there?!"

"Nothing, Max! I got it!" Grabbing the fire extinguisher off the wall, he dropped the toaster and started spraying it down. The fire was spreading across the linoleum tiles, and he rushed to get the rest of it.

"Max! Maaax! The fire alarm's going off!" came Nudge's frantic voice from upstairs. "MAX! MAAAX! FANG'S NOT IN HIS ROOM! Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, he got taken! We have to run after them! We--"

"Somebody turn off that freaking thing!" Iggy yelled, and a door slammed. "Max! What's with that?"

Gritting his teeth, Fang stomped on the last of the fire, then sprayed down the whole area, just to make sure. By the time he was finished, the whole flock, minus Max, who must've not felt like coming down, was standing there staring at him.

"Fang?" asked the Gasman, rubbing sleep from his eyes. "Why is the toaster in the floor?"

"Is that charcoal?" Angel asked, pointing to two lumps of black Fang hadn't noticed before.

"That," he said, picking them up carefully, "would be toast."

Iggy snorted. "Wow, Fang. Since Max can't cook and apparently you can't either, your little Fax kids will have to eat, like, Weight Watchers yogurt for breakfast."

"Shut up and help me trash the toaster, Figgy."

**There ya go. Fang can't make toast.**

**I might write another chapter right now. Dunno. Review, please!**


	2. Fangalicious!

**I was going to use this rap song I like for this chapter, and then I looked up the lyrics, and um… nah, that would result in a very high T, which I don't want. So we'll stick with Fergilicious. It works. Haha.**

**Disclaimer: Still don't own Maximum Ride, and definitely not Fergilicious.**

Fang knocked on Iggy's door. It was now six in the morning, and he was beat. For four hours, he'd been holding back Max's hair and rubbing her back and wiping her face with a cool cloth.

"What do you want?"

"Listen, man, Max is really sick," Fang said, leaning on the door and gazing down the hallway. "You're gonna have to be in charge today."

"Why can't you be? It's not like you'll be busy playing tonsil hockey, since she's sick."

Ignoring that last comment, Fang replied, "I'm taking care of her."

"Ooh, how sweet and _sensitive_ of you!" Iggy said in a high, girly voice. "You should be Boyfriend of the Year!"

"Shut your face before I break it. And get up soon."

_Two hours later…_

"Four, tres, two, uno!"

Iggy sat up and groaned. What the heck was Nudge doing?

And then she started singing. Well, 'singing' is used loosely. It was more of the screaming variety.

"Listen up ya'll 'cause this is it, the beat that I'm bangin' is delicious!"

Angel started screaming next. "Fergalicious definition, make them boys go loco!"

Nudge: They want my treasure, so they get their pleasures from my photo!

Springs started squeaking, like the girls were jumping on the bed. The music was pumped louder, and louder, but they managed to make themselves heard over it.

Angel: You can see me, you can't squeeze me, I ain't easy, I ain't sleazy!

Oh, geez. Did Angel have any idea what she was saying? Probably not.

Nudge: I got reasons why I tease 'em, boys just come and go like seasons, Fergilicious!

"TURN THE MUSIC DOWN!" Max screamed from her room, but the girls didn't hear over the racket.

Iggy didn't do anything. It was still only eight, too early to get out of bed.

Angel: So delicious!

"Iggy?" There was persistent pounding on the door, and Iggy scowled in that direction. "Max says you have to make them turn that off."

Nudge: But I ain't promiscuous!

"You just got up to tell me that, why don't you do it?"

"You're supposed to be in charge. Your job." Footsteps padded back down the hallway.

Growling, Iggy lifted himself out of bed and stomped over to the door, throwing it open and stalking down to Nudge's room.

Angel: And if you was suspicious…

Nudge: All that shit is fictitious!

"NUDGE!" yelled Max. "WATCH YOUR MOUTH, YOUNG LADY!"

It still appeared that Nudge and Angel couldn't hear her. Iggy threw the door open and walked in the direction of the bed. He reached out and was able to grab Angel's elbow, swinging her over his shoulder. Nudge was sneakier, though, and walked to a corner of the bed so that Iggy couldn't reach her.

"I blow kisses!" Angel screamed into Iggy's back.

Nudge kept up her end of the song, moving around the room to throw Iggy off. "That puts them boys on rock, rock, and they be linin' down the block, just to watch what I got!"

"Nudge, come here!" Iggy shouted, trying in vain to follow her voice but failing epically.

"FOUR, TRES, TWO, UNO!" Angel yelled with all the strength she could muster, kicking her legs and trying to wiggle out of Iggy's arms.

Nudge ran out the door and down the hallway. "So delicious!"

"It's hot, hot!"

"So delicious!"

"I put them boys on rock, rock!"

"So delicious!"

"They want a taste of what I got!"

Fang stepped out of Max's room, shutting the door behind him. "Nudge! Please! Max has a killer headache."

Nudge didn't hear a word he said. She just stared at him, and her face lit up as she realized something, and then she sang her part. "IT'S FANGALICIOUS!"

Angel's little girl laugh tinkered down the hallway. "T-t-tasty, tasty!"

The look on Fang's face was priceless. Nudge laughed and continued to sing right at him. "Fangalicious def-"

"Fangalicious def-"

"Fangalicious def-"

The door flew open behind Fang and Max, nose red, hair all messy, shuffled out into the hall. "Nudge," she said in a tone of forced patience. "I need you to turn off the music, stop yelling, and go downstairs to eat breakfast. Okay?"

Seeing how bad Max looked, Nudge nodded wordlessly, a first for her. As she turned to head down, Angel came sprinting down the hallway at top speed, Iggy chasing after her. "FANGALICIOUS DEFINITION, MAKE THEM BOYS GO CRAZY!"

"Angel, we're done singing," whispered Nudge, holding a finger to her lips. "We're going to eat breakfast now."

The girls headed downstairs, and Iggy stood awkwardly across from Max and Fang.

"Iggy, you suck at this," Max told him, and turned to go back to bed.

"Take them out somewhere later," Fang said. "I don't care where, just let them get out all their energy."

"Yeah, okay" Iggy said, and heard Max's bedroom door click shut behind Fang.

Another door opened behind him.

"Um, Ig?" asked Gazzy. "Is it safe? Are they done singing?"

**Haha. This was fun. Is it stupid but not funny, or so stupid it's funny? The latter is fine with me. **

**Next chapter might be Fax fluff, or Iggy taking the kids out. Whatever I feel like writing, I guess.**

**Review, please!!!**


	3. Where's My Kiss?

**Fax fluff for ya! Probably not very good fluff… but it is fluff nonetheless. Heh.**

**Thanks for the all the reviews! Especially the ones agreeing the last chapter was so stupid it was funny. Haha.**

**Disclaimer: Are these necessary every chapter of a multi-chapter story? Maybe I'll stop with them. Except that I really don't want to get sued. Anyway, I don't own Maximum Ride.**

"Fang, I feel like crap," whined Max, wiping sweat off her nose.

"I'm having a real dandy time, too," he replied as he strode back into the room with her newly scrubbed puke bucket. She vaguely smelled disinfectant as Fang dropped it next to her bedside.

"Well, _I_ would take care of _you_," she told him.

"I wasn't complaining," Fang said quietly, sitting down next to her head and leaning on the headboard. He stroked her hair with one hand. "It's an excuse to be with you."

Max smiled up at her boyfriend. What a sap.

"Hey, Max? Fang? We're going to the mall!"

"Okay!" Fang called back to Iggy. He and Max continued to watch each other, until the door slammed shut, the noise resounding through the house. "Well," he said. "We're alone."

"Sorry, Fang. I don't want you getting sick, too." Max rolled over so her back faced Fang. With a loud sigh of annoyance, he scooted down so he was lying down next to her and draped an arm over her waist.

"Maaax…" Fang propped himself up on the arm that wasn't holding her and kissed her hair, right above her ear. "Max, come on. I've been taking care of you all day; don't I get one kiss of appreciation?"

"Mmm… no," she said sleepily, shifting closer to him.

"But--"

"Fang, I'm tired. Please just lay here with me?" Max looked over her shoulder at him, trying to imitate the Bambi eyes.

"Fine. Later I get a kiss, though, right?" he asked as her eyes fluttered shut.

"We'll see."

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**Welcome to Fang's Blog!**

**Today's Date: July 26, 2009**

**You are visitor number: It broke again.**

**Yo,**

**I've been up since two and I am beat. Max has been puking and hacking and sneezing, and I've just been sitting next to her like the wonderful boyfriend I am. Right now she's sleeping… for the fifth straight hour. I have to stay here in case she wakes up and needs something, so I'm bored out of my mind. On the plus side, this is getting me out of anything involving watching the kids. That's good news.**

**Still, it's weird seeing Max so… frail. She looks awful, and she's used to healing quickly and everything. Guess the flu is just going to run its course. **

**Oh, she's waking up. Better go see what she needs.**

**Fly on,**

**Fang**

Fang put the laptop back on the nightstand and stroked the back of Max's head as she rubbed sleep out of her eyes. "Do you feel any better?" he asked quietly.

"Not really. Uh--!" Gripping the edge of the bed, Max leaned over and threw up. Fang held her hair back and rubbed her neck, and when she was done, he reached for the wet cloth to wipe her face down.

"What am I gonna do with you?" he asked, chuckling a little. He wiped her lips down and then pecked them.

"Don't blame me when you get sick, mister," Max said, but it came with a smile.

**Okay, not the best thing I've ever written, and it's not funny at all, but someone requested Fax fluff and I still had some thinking to do on the next chapter. Which I'm going to do now. Might not be up for a day or two, though.**

**Review, review!!**

**P.S. Have I mentioned before that I'm not really trying to make this great or anything, that it's just gonna be random, stupid, (hopefully) funny stuff I write when I get bored (which is often)? Well, now I have.**


	4. The Mall

**Yet another disclaimer: I still do not own Maximum Ride!**

"Ohmygosh! Iggy, I want to go to Hollister! I need a new top! You brought the card, right? Oh, good! Let's go to Hollister!"

"Nudge, I am _not_ going to Hollister," groaned Iggy. They had finally finished eating lunch, after a thirty-minute argument among the kids about what they would be having. After settling on Burger King, there had been some debate about whether to eat by the fountains or at a table. And the day was just getting started. "Listen, show me to an ATM so I can get you some money. Then you go to Hollister, Angel can go wherever, and me and Gasser will go to Radio Shack. Meet us at the front doors at four o' clock. Kepeesh?"

Iggy got the money and gave fifty dollars each to Nudge and Angel. He knew for a fact that Max wouldn't want them spending that much, but she deserved it, sticking him with this job. Then the flock went into their separate stores.

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"Oh, my gosh, this is sooo _cute_!" squealed Nudge, taking the shirt off the rack and holding it against her. "Oh, and it looks like it would fit me perfectly! It'll look good, right, Angel?"

"Right," Angel said helpfully.

"And… hmm… this one. Don't you want anything?"

"This store doesn't sell stuff in my size, Nudge…"

"Oh! Right. You're six. You need, like, a little girl store. There aren't really any stores _just_ for little girls, are there? There should be. Like Babies 'R' Us, it could be Girls 'R' Us. Don't you think?"

"Definitely." Most of the time, it was just easier to agree with everything Nudge said.

"Ooh, this is a-- oh no. Angel?" Nudge ducked down, grabbing the younger girl's sleeve and bringing her down, too. "Angel," she whispered. "Look over there."

Angel peeked out from around the rack of clothes and saw a male model type walking around the store. Her eyes went wide. "I thought the Erasers were all gone!"

"Me too! And Max isn't here, and neither is Fang! And, and… we need to get Iggy! Oh, but if we stand up he'll see us! We're trapped! Can you read his mind? Does he know we're in here?"

Angel listened in on the Eraser's thoughts. _Boss told me I need the small one…_

"No, but he's after me!"

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Iggy and Gazzy had gotten bored at Radio Shack and were at another electronics store, which offered free Internet for twenty minutes.

"What should we do?" Gazzy asked, absentmindedly moving the mouse.

"Um… go to Fang's blog."

"Why?"

"I want to leave a comment."

"Uh, okay," the Gasman said, going to the blog. He clicked on the comment button and poised his fingers over the keyboard. "What do you want to say?"

"I can type myself. Scoot over." Iggy nudged him out of the way and started writing.

**Post a comment: **_hey nicky-poo! I miss u sooooo much! I luv u! xoxo, lissa_

"But Iggy," the Gasman said as Iggy submitted the comment. "She wouldn't actually write that, because he has stuff all over the blog about dating Max, and she wouldn't even know that Fang and Nick were the same person."

Iggy shrugged. "Oh well. Either Fang's gonna kick my butt or Max is gonna kick his. Either way, it'll be pretty funny."

Gazzy thought both Fang and Max were scary, not funny, when angry, but he didn't say anything else about it. "Let's go to the Apple store."

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"Look, he's going over there!" Angel whisper-screamed. The Eraser was headed away from them. "We can get out now!"

"We can't leave him alone in the store with all these innocent people!" Nudge told her.

"You sound like Max."

"That's what Max would want us to do."

Angel sighed. "So what do we do?"

"Um, um, okay. See that rack on wheels? On the count of three, you're going to leap out from behind here and charge it. Jump on it and send it right into the Eraser. I'll run behind him and make sure once he's down, he stays down. And then… we wing it. Ha, get it, wing? Right, sorry. One… two… three!"

Angel launched herself at the rack. She hurtled with it right into the Eraser, knocking him on his surprised face. Nudge straddled his back and twisted both arms so they popped loudly. The Eraser groaned.

All the customer's eyes were on the three of them now, and a security guard was making his way over. Angel searched for the Eraser's thoughts.

_No, no, the cops can't get involved. I'm supposed to be getting that small shirt for Samuel! The photo shoot is _today _and he doesn't have his shirt yet! What the heck is this kid doing on my back?_

_Oh, no_, thought Angel. The security guard was getting ever closer. _Nudge?_

_What is it?_

_Um… he's not an Eraser. He's a real model._

Nudge gasped out loud and got off the guy. He stood up, rubbing his back, and glared at her.

"What's going on here?" asked the security guard, coming up beside them.

"Sorry, sorry!" Nudge stumbled all over herself trying to explain. "I'm really sorry! I had him confused for somebody else, that's why I attacked him! That's not like a federal crime or anything, right?"

"No, but you two are going to have to come with me so I can call your parents. Sir, you're free to go."

"Thanks," said the guy, glaring at the girls one last time before stalking off to the other side of the store, rubbing his head.

As the security guard wrote something down, Nudge gestured to Angel, and they took off running, out of Hollister.

"Hey! Kids! Come back here!"

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The Gasman looked up from the iPod he was holding to see a flash of brown and then a flash of blonde curls, followed by a security guard who wasn't running nearly as fast.

"Ig!"

Iggy turned around from fingering a different iPod. "What?"

"Nudge and Angel are being chased by a security guy!"

Muttering under his breath, Iggy started searching his pockets. "Of _course_ they are. I can't wait until Max gets over her freaking flu. Here." He handed a small package to Gazzy. "We're going to catch up with them, and when we do, throw the bomb at the security guy. It'll just dissolve into smoke. It won't hurt him, but he'll lose track of us and then we'll be out of here."

"Got it!"

Iggy and the Gasman took off in the direction Gazzy had seen Angel and Nudge running toward. It wasn't long before Gazzy saw them trapped in a corner. He described the scene to Iggy, who cursed, again, and instructed Gazzy to begin the plan.

The Gasman threw the bomb, and the smoke made the security guard hack and cough. Nudge and Angel looked at them, wide-eyed, and then took off for the exit.

Once they were all four outside, they took to the skies, and Iggy looked in the general direction of Nudge and Angel. "Okay, look. I'm not going to ask. Just please, please, _please_, do not tell Max."

"Aye, aye, Captain!" Nudge said, saluting him.

**I know, it's not a good ending, and the last part is rushed. But overall, I like it.**

**Review, pleeeeease?**


	5. Total's Ballad

**I like being able to update all the time, because I won't be able to once school starts up again in a few weeks. But for now, I'm good. This is fun. : D**

**Thanks to Zeze, who pointed out that I haven't included Total so far. (I always forget about him.) He'll be in this chapter.**

**And thanks to everybody who reviewed! Every single one is appreciated!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Maximum Ride.**

Max was sitting up in bed, propped up on her pillows, waiting for Fang to come back with her ice water and saltine crackers. The TV on a table at the foot of her bed was turned to the news, but she was paying more attention to the headache throbbing in her left temple.

"Max?"

She looked up to see Total sitting on the floor a few feet away from the bed. "What is it, Total?" Her voice came out croaky and quiet, which sounded unnatural coming from the sarcastic word queen.

"I have a message from Fang for you." Total cleared his throat as Max furrowed her brow. "Ahem--

_You are my right wing,_

_My only right wing,_

_You make me happy,_

_When skies are rough._

_You'll never know, Max,_

_How much I love you,_

_Please don't take my right wing away."_

As soon as Total finished, he turned on his little doggy heels and trotted out of the room. Max stared after him, and was still staring at the door when Fang came in.

"What?" he asked, watching her carefully. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah…" she took the water and took a huge gulp. "Total just came in and… sang me this weird song… he said it was a message from you. It wasn't, right?"

"No." Fang sank down beside her on the bed, wrapping his arm around her shoulders and tucking her into his side. "What song?"

"It was You Are My Sunshine, but he said 'you are my right wing,'" Max said. "Maybe it didn't actually happen. Maybe I'm just delusional."

Chuckling softly, Fang used his free hand to tilt her chin up and kiss her. It lasted a second or two longer than the last one, but Max pulled away. "Idiot! You're gonna make yourself sick!"

"Worth it."

Groaning, Max snuggled into Fang's chest and pulled the blankets up to her chin. After her long nap, she'd stopped sweating and started getting chills. "Whatever, Fang. Good night."

"Night, Max," he said with a smile.

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"Angel?"

"Hm?"

"Why do you have that weird smile on your face?" Nudge started to grin. "What did you just do?"

Angel couldn't help but laugh out loud. "Mind-controlled Total."

"Ooh! If Max finds out you're in so much trouble! But I won't tell her. What did you make him do?"

With another mischievous grin, Angel said, "I'm not really sure you want to know…"

**Fax fluff, mischief, and Total! What more could you ask for?**

**Review, review, review!!!**


	6. I Wanna Rock and Roll All Night!

**I know it's been a few days; my Internet was down. This is longer than most of my other chapters though, **

**Disclaimer: I still don't own Maximum Ride!**

_12:03 AM_

"Iggy. Iggy."

Iggy's eyes snapped open as soon as the soft sound reached his sensitive ears. He sat up in bed and listened harder. "Iggy!"

It was Max. With a huff, he got up and walked out his bedroom door and down the hall. He stuck his head into her room. "What do you want?"

"I just threw up, and I don't want to wake Fang up because he took care of me all day and he's worn out. So I need you to scrub my bucket."

"No way. No freaking way. I am not going to compromise my man pride to be Mr. Sweet and Sensitive like Lover Boy there…"

"Iggy, please."

"I can't even see it!"

"Then get Nudge. It smells. If I throw up again it's going to splash out. It needs cleaning!"

What Iggy said next wasn't very nice, but he stormed back down the hallway and shook Nudge awake.

"What's going on?" she asked. "Are we under attack? Where is everybody? Why are you getting me? Where's--"

"Shut up!" he hissed, tugging her up by the arm. "Max wants to give Fang a break, so we're cleaning out her puke bucket."

"Oh, _ew_!" squealed Nudge. "And I'm tired! It's _midnight_!"

"I have to subject myself to this, then you do too. Let's go."

The two of them made their way back to Max's room, where they got the bucket, and then went into the bathroom. Nudge dumped the puke into the sink, then rinsed both the bucket and the sink out. Then they both kneeled on the linoleum floor with sponges and disinfectant and started scrubbing it down.

By then, Nudge was fully awake and back to her normal self. "I think it's really sweet that Fang is taking care of Max. Most people would look at him and be scared, but I think he's just a big old marshmallow inside. Don't you think, Iggy? I mean, especially with Max, he's a huge softie. It's adorable."

Iggy grunted.

"Although sometimes they fight because he's always looking after her and she thinks she can take care of herself. Did you ever notice he's way protective of Max? I never did, but then I started thinking about it and I realized he was _always_ protective, he was just trying to be all tough and he was never obvious about it."

"Yep." Iggy sat back on his heels. "Is it clean yet?"

"Yeah. You know, it's really shiny, you know? Oh, of course you don't know. Sorry. But really, who would have expected this ugly green bucket could be _shiny_? It's so weird!"

"Take it to Max's room. I'm going to bed." With that, Iggy washed his hands quickly and all but ran back to his bedroom.

_1:20 AM_

"Iggy, wake up! Wake up!"

"What _is _it?" he snapped, not sitting up.

"I had a bad dream," the tearful voice said, and now Iggy realized that it was Angel. He sat up and held out his arms so she could crawl into his lap. She leaned against him, her breath coming out in choked sobs. "It was awful. They-- they came and took us away--"

"Angel, it's okay," Iggy said, rubbing her back awkwardly. He wasn't so good at the whole comforting thing. "They aren't taking anybody away."

"That's not the worst part! Once we were at the School, our cages were in all different rooms. We were trapped--"

"Stop," Iggy said. He didn't want to think about any of that. "Everything is okay, Angel. Don't think about it. Everything's okay…"

Angel sniffed against his chest. "Can I sleep here?"

"Um… does Max let you sleep with her?"

"Yeah."

"Fine." Drawing back the covers, Iggy place her gently on the bed and covered her up. Then he threw his arm lazily over her as she snuggled close. "'Night, Angel."

"Good night, Iggy."

In a matter of five minutes, Iggy could tell Angel was asleep by her slow, even breathing. Just as he started to drift off, too, he felt something hit him in the stomach.

"_Oof_," he said, reaching down, and found a tiny fist. With a sigh, he moved it and tried to sleep again.

A few minutes later, little toes gave a quick kick to his shin. This time, it actually hurt. A six-year-old with super strength was not to be messed with. Iggy scooted away from Angel.

When the same fist collided with his chest, sending out his breath in a big _whoosh, _Iggy growled, grabbed one of the blankets, his pillow, and lay down on the carpeted floor. Within a matter of minutes, he was sound asleep.

_1:42 AM_

Iggy awoke with a start when something full of dead weight landed right on his stomach. He raised his head and prepared to take on a fighting stance, then remembered Angel and reached out to feel whatever was on him. Sure enough, it was the youngest bird kid.

With a huge sigh, Iggy scooped Angel up and placed her back on the bed. He grabbed his blanket and pillow and stomped out of the room, down the stairs, and settled down on the couch in the living room.

_1:45 AM_

"Hey! Just because I get up for a minute to relieve myself doesn't mean you can invade my territory! Off the couch!"

"Total," growled Iggy into his pillow. "You're a _dog_. You don't have rights to any place in this house. So leave me alone."

"I sleep here every night. Scoot it, mister. Oh, and you can't sleep in this room because your snoring will keep me awake. And my fair lady is occupying the kitchen."

"I don't snore _that _loud!"

"I still don't want to hear it. Now, shoo, shoo. I need to get my beauty sleep."

"Are me and Gazzy the only guys in touch with our guy-ness in this house? Fang and his apron, you and your pretty fur… it's sickening!" Iggy made a sound of disgust and walked through the kitchen, not bothering to quiet down as he passed Akila.

He went into the bathroom, shutting the door behind him, and felt the bottom of the tub for water. Feeling that it was dry, he spread out the blanket, put the pillow at one end, and lay down.

_Finally_, he went to sleep and stayed that way.

For a while, anyway.

_3:10 AM_

"Who's in there?"

The knocking on the door didn't stop, even when Iggy ignored the voice. It came again, persistent. "Hello?"

"Gasman, _what is it_?"

"I have to use the bathroom!"

"Go upstairs!"

"I can't. Max has been barfing for like ten minutes straight and Fang told me they had to stay in the bathroom until she stopped."

Normally, the fact that Max was throwing up that much would have Iggy worried, but right now he was seething, much more concerned with the fact that he'd gotten three hours of sleep so far, and he was expected to be up at seven, with breakfast on the table at eight.

And, to top it all off, he was sleeping in the freaking _bathtub._

Iggy sat up and stepped out of the tub, then turned and grabbed his pillow and blanket. He stomped in the direction of the door, threw it open, and felt the Gasman rush past him to the toilet. Right there in the hallway, Iggy made his "bed" and lay down on the hardwood floor.

_3:30 AM_

The floor was _so_ uncomfortable. No matter which way he turned, Iggy couldn't find a favorable position.

_3:36 AM_

Iggy got up to get a snack.

_3:45 AM_

Iggy went to the bathroom.

_3:48 AM_

Iggy lay back down in the hallway. He would have moved back into the bathtub, but apparently the Gasman decided to wash his feet or something, because the tub was soaked.

_4:12 AM_

Iggy seriously considers going upstairs and pounding Fang to a pulp for subjecting him to this. After all, he was just using Max's flu as an excuse to be with her _every freaking minute _of _every freaking day._

_4:18 AM_

Iggy decides he doesn't want Max to take away her bombs, therefore shooting down his plan of beating up her boyfriend.

_4:34 AM_

Iggy finally falls asleep on the hard floor.

_6:45 AM_

"Hey. Ig."

A soft kick at his side made Iggy sit up. "What?"

"Nudge is hungry. Make her some eggs or something."

"Of _course_ Nudge is hungry," huffed Iggy, standing up. "The night I don't sleep because I'm busy cleaning barf buckets and accommodating _dogs_ and sleeping in the bathtub, I get dragged out of bed at the crack of freaking dawn to feed Nudge!"

"Yeah, whatever," Fang said. His footsteps headed toward the stairs. "Get on it!"


	7. Trip to Wal Mart

**This is my day-late entry for Anti-Hardwicke Day-- it doesn't actually have anything to do with the movie, except for this A/N-- I procrastinated on it all day today and so I'll probably not finish it until tomorrow.**

**Anyway, I'm not so much anti-Catherine as I am anti-Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson as Max and Fang. First of all, let's find some actors who are even remotely close to fourteen. Second, they don't look like Max and Fang. Especially Rob. He's, like, the polar opposite of Fang-- short hair, blonde, and pale. Third, we need some unknown actors for this movie-- that's what Kristen and Rob were before Twilight. **

**I just really hope they don't mess up this movie.**

**Oh, and make sure to sign the petition! You know the one-- the link is on the blog on max-dan-wiz if you don't!**

**Disclaimer: James Patterson owns Maximum Ride and I don't!**

"Ig?"

Iggy cringed. By now, he'd figured out that hearing Fang's voice wasn't a good sign for him. "What?"

"You need to go to the store." He leaned over the back of the couch and handed Iggy a piece of paper. "Take the kids. I'm gonna carry Max down here to watch a movie while you guys are gone."

"I can't even read it!"

"Another reason to take the kids."

With a low growl, Iggy stood up and marched into the kitchen, where the younger kids were doing a puzzle at the table. "Get dressed, you guys. We're off to Wal-Mart."

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_To Wal-Mart we will go,_

_To save a little dough!_

_High-ho, the dairy-o,_

_To Wal-Mart we will go!_

Angel, Gazzy and Nudge had apparently composed some sort of Wal-Mart jingle, and all three of them were belting it from upstairs.

_We gotta get there fast,_

_It's gonna be a blast!_

_High-ho, the dairy-o,_

_To Wal-Mart we will go!_

The sound got closer as the kids tramped downstairs in their windbreakers. Iggy shushed them, not wanting to hear it from Fang about how Max had a headache and couldn't take the commotion.

"Don't forget the cans of Coke!" croaked Max from where she lay on the couch. Iggy heard her shivering, waiting for Fang to bring her some blankets. "And the bananas. I bet I can keep that down." (A/N: I LOVE bananas, but a couple years ago I found out I'm allergic. It sucks!!)

"Yeah, whatever," Iggy said, opening the front door and letting the kids pass.

"I'm serious," Max said, as intimidating as she could get with her lack of voice. Fang's footsteps moved toward the couch. "Forget the bananas and you die."

"Did you put them on the list?"

"I don't remember! Why don't you check?" she snapped.

"He can't check, Max," Fang said quietly. The couch squeaked; Iggy figured he was sitting down.

"Oh, right."

"Our great leader forgot her brother was blind," said Iggy sarcastically, stepping outside and pulling the door shut behind him. "The walls of the world are crashing down," he finished to himself, shaking his head and rolling his sightless blue eyes.

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"Ohmigosh, that shirt is _soo_ cute! Can I get it, Iggy? Please, please, please, please, _please_--"

"You don't need any new clothes, Nudge," he said firmly, holding a piece of Gazzy's shirt as the younger boy pushed the cart.

"But it is _so_--"

"I said no!"

"Iggy, can me and Nudge go look at toys?" Angel asked sweetly. She sent him a mental image of her innocent smile. "We won't ask for anything. We'll just look."

"Fine." The two girls were driving him insane. An hour or so away from them would be great. "Nudge, got your watch?"

"Yep!" Angel answered for her, before Nudge could launch into a babble.

"Meet us right here in an hour, got it?"

"Got it!" The two said together, and then ran off to the toy aisle.

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"We're right by the medicine aisle," the Gasman told Iggy. "And there's a _lot_ of medicine on here."

"Which ones?"

"Benadryl, Ibuprofen, Tylenol, and cough drops."

"For the love of all that is holy," Iggy muttered. "She needs _all_ that crap?"

Gazzy shrugged, sort of afraid of this tense, irritable Iggy. "That's what Fang wrote."

"Well, go find them. I'll wait here."

The fabric slipped from Iggy's fingers, and he waited patiently, leaning on the cart. A minute later, there were a few _clanks_ as the medicine was dropped into it. "Okay," the Gasman said. "Now food…"

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"I miss Max," Angel said, examining a Barbie doll, then putting it back and picking out another one. "I know this is only the second day she's been sick, but it feels like _forever_ since we've seen her. And I sort of miss Fang, too."

"I know," Nudge said. "Ooh, Angel, that one's pretty! Look at her dress! It's so fancy and big! I love those ones, you know, with the huge skirt and the lace bodice. They're really pretty!"

A mischievous grin inched across Angel's face. "Look! It's Fang, all dressed up for the dance with Max!" Grabbing a box containing a Ken doll, she put it next to the box with the Barbie and made them dance in some sort of circle.

Nudge giggled. "Do you think they'll dance at Total and Akila's wedding reception? I bet they'll run off and try to hide from us. They won't want a bunch of people watching them kiss or whatever. But I think it's _so_ sweet!"

Angel tilted the boxes so only the parts where the heads were touched. "Me too. They're totally meant to be."

"And when they get married and have kids, we'll be Auntie Nudge and Auntie Angel! What do you think they'll name their kids? Ooh, for a boy it should be Tooth. And for a girl… Minimum. Mini for short. Tooth and Mini. Mini and Tooth. Aww! I love it! Hey, what's this?" Nudge reached for a box, about the size of a shoebox. Unfortunately, the box was at the bottom of a huge display of other boxes. She tugged it out of its spot, but once it was free everything on top of it came crashing down. Some thumps, cracks, and snaps later, Nudge and Angel were surrounded by boxes of Barbie furniture.

"What was that?" came a gruff voice they probably wouldn't be able to hear if not for their supersonic hearing.

"Sounded like aisle fourteen."

The two girls slowly looked up. Yep, theirs was fourteen.

"Run for it," Nudge said tersely, in probably the shortest sentence she'd ever said.

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"Manager to the Toy Department! Manager to the Toy Department!"

Iggy was very glad Angel wasn't around to hear the series of cuss words that passed through his head after he heard the announcement. "What did they get into _now_?"

Gazzy grabbed a bunch of bananas and tossed them in the cart. "Maybe they attacked another model," he said helpfully.

"Were bananas at the end of the list?"

"Yeah. We're done."

"Let's pay for the food first. Then we can worry about them."

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"Are they just Wal-Mart people, Angel? Or are they bad? Like, _bad_ bad?"

Angel's eyes glazed over for a moment, but she and Nudge kept sprinting through the store. Then she shook her head. "They just work here."

Nudge glanced over her shoulder at the two teenagers in blue vests chasing after them. A split second later, she ran into something, hard, and looked up just in time to see the huge tower of bouncy balls tumbling to the ground. Huge balls rolled out and down the aisle, rebounding off shelves and tripping a couple people.

Angel took off in the other direction, and Nudge followed suit, grabbing a huge ball on the way. As the two guys turned the corner, she aimed perfectly and threw it, with all her superhuman strength, right where it would hit both of their faces.

"Good job, Nudge!" Angel whispered as they continued to run for the front of the store. Right by the automatic double doors, Iggy and Gazzy were waiting.

As they made their way over to them, Nudge looked back one more time to see a middle-aged man, probably the manager, yelling at the two teenage guys, each holding onto their own face. Surrounding them were little kids, throwing around the suddenly abundant bouncy balls. One of them hit the manager in the back of the head, and his face went scarlet.

Sometimes, it was nice to be a bird kid.

**PLEASE review!! Even if all it says is "bad" or "good." Seriously. Next chapter may be Fax fluff. I'm not sure yet. What do you want? Any ideas? I'm open!**


	8. Food Fight!

**This chapter has a little of everything! Fax, chaos, a very angry Fang… whoo!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Maximum Ride now, just like I didn't a few days ago… oh, and I also don't own Hairspray. Or Zac Efron.**

"Why are we watching this?" Fang asked.

"Because Zac Efron is way hot," Max muttered as his voice, singing _I'm the ladies choice! _came blaring from the TV. Her head was on a pillow in Fang's lap, and she had her face turned into his stomach. One of his hands was threaded through her hair, the other holding her waist.

"Not as hot as me," he said with a smirk.

"Oh, that's debatable," she said quietly.

Fang gave her a mock glare. "No. I'm way hotter than him."

"Hmm." Max pretended to study his face, then turned around and studied Zac Efron on the screen. "Well, I _guess_ you're right."

"Of course I am," he said smugly, propping his feet up on the coffee table. Max shut her eyes and buried her face in his abdomen again. "Hey, you okay?" he asked, suddenly concerned. "Tired? Want to go back upstairs?"

"Fine here," she murmured, putting one hand under her head. "Stay."

"I'm not going anywhere," Fang said, and she was asleep within minutes.

Max's face was relaxed and peaceful, her face closer to its normal color than it had been in a while, thought still red, and with her hair spread out on the pillow, she looked so young and fragile.

Fang thought it was freaking _adorable_.

Disentangling his hand from her hair, he found the remote and turned off the TV. Then, lacing his fingers through Max's free ones, he leaned his head back and dozed off with her.

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"Aww!"

"It's _so_ cute!"

"Gaz, get the camera. This is great blackmail."

"Don't. You. Dare." Max raised her head out of Fang's lap and sat up, supporting herself on her elbows. "Touch that camera and I take away all your bombs for the next _decade_."

The Gasman stopped dead in his tracks. Fang stood up and swung Max, still wrapped in multiple blankets, up in his arms bridal style. "This is our cue to leave," he said, starting for the stairs. "Bye, guys."

"Bye!" called Nudge and Angel. Iggy just grunted.

Once upstairs, Fang placed Max on the bed and leaned over to kiss her. "Love you," he said softly.

Max grinned up at him. "I love you, too."

Fang kissed her again, and this time, she didn't push him away. She kissed him right back, snaking her arms around his neck. Placing his hands on her hips, Fang took one gasping breath and then tilted his head to kiss her better.

This went on for about five minutes before she pulled away. "No, stop, Fang, you idiot, you're gonna get sick now!"

"Come on," he whined, but Max just pulled him down on the bed beside her.

"I don't want you getting this," she said. "It's living hell."

Fang turned on his side, facing her, resting an arm around her middle. "You need sleep," he told her. "You have huge bags under your eyes."

"So do you."

"Shut up and go to sleep," Fang growled. Max smirked and snuggled her head into his shoulder.

"Love you," she said again.

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"Why aren't you helping us, Iggy?" whined Nudge as she stirred the cake batter around in the bowl.

From his spot on the floor in the living room, where he lay with his eyes closed and arms folded lazily across his stomach, Iggy replied sleepily, "This is my time to make up for all the sleep I lost last night. You wanted cake, you can make your own."

"I don't know if it looks right, Ig," Gazzy said, peering into the bowl.

"It's a cake _mix_. You can't mess it up."

"I'll send you a picture," Angel told him. Ten seconds later, Iggy was groaning. "How did you make it look like that? I measured everything for you! All you had to do was put it in the bowl!"

Nudge slid the bowl to the other side of the counter. "We'll just start over. We have three more mixes. Do you think Max will want any? Probably not; she barfs a lot lately. What do you suppose chocolate cake looks like barfed up?"

"Nudge." The Gasman turned away from the fridge with two eggs in his hand. "Catch!" He tossed them underhanded to her. Unfortunately, Nudge had been busy rambling and didn't hear him. A second later the eggs smashed into the back of her head, dribbling all over her hair. Slowly, she turned around, a murderous look on her face.

"_GAZZY! LOOK WHAT YOU DID TO MY HAIR!_"

Before the younger boy could explain himself, Nudge had picked up huge globs of the messed up chocolate mix and was chucking it at his face.

"THIS IS WAR!" shouted Gazzy, and dove back into the fridge for more eggs. Nudge kept throwing handfuls of mix at him, and they sometimes missed and hit the fridge or cabinets. Angel was trying to stay out of it, but when her brother missed aim badly and hit her in the face with an egg instead of Nudge, she grabbed the bottle of vegetable oil and joined right in.

Through all of this, Iggy did not move from his place on the floor.

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"What the hell is going on down there?" Max mumbled.

"Want me to go check it out?"

"Yeah. Bring me a banana while you're down there, will you? And a glass of water?"

"Sure."

Fang stood up and left the room, turning to head down the stairs. As he got closer, he could hear the kids' shouts of "My _hair_!" and "Ouch!" and "Stop, Gazzy!" But he didn't hear Iggy's voice.

"Hey, guys," called Fang as he strode into the kitchen. "What--"

He never got to finish his sentence, however, because an egg that had missed its aim terribly hit him right in the nose. It smashed open instantly, and yellow goop dripped own his face and off his chin.

The kitchen went silent, the kids wide-eyed as they stared at Fang in fear.

Taking a deep breath, Fang wiped the egg off his face with one swipe and yelled, "_Iggy_!"

**That was fun to write. I'm not so good at the kissing scenes. Haha. Um… probably more Fax fluff next chapter, and it'll be a chapter of ALL Fax fluff. Probably. We'll see. REVIEW!!**


	9. Love Game

**Disclaimer: I do not own Maximum Ride, but there is a picture of Fang in my fridge. I also don't own Love Game or Lady Gaga.**

"Are they done?" Max asked Fang, her voice groggy and croaky, as he came into her room with the laptop.

"Yeah," he replied, sitting down on the edge of the bed. "I stood there the whole time and made sure they didn't miss a spot. Gazzy started it, but they all cleaned."

"Iggy too?"

"Yep."

"Good. He shouldn't be _sleeping_ while they're destroying the kitchen."

Fang leaned against the headboard and turned on the laptop. "Speaking of sleep, you need some. It's 10:30."

Max moved her head to rest in the crook of his elbow, and they both watched the screen. "I slept all day, Fang. I'm not tired."

"Just try."

With a big huff, she said, "Fine," and rolled over so her back was to him. Smiling a little bit, Fang rubbed her shoulder and surfed the net with one hand.

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At 11, Max turned over. Fang jumped and withdrew his hand. "Whoa. I thought you were asleep."

"No. I was pretending." She grinned. "Fang, I'm really not tired. Tell me a story."

"You're kidding."

"I want to see what kind of bedtime stories Fang the Great can come up with."

"Maybe I should mention on here that the great Maximum Ride can't sleep at night without a story."

"Don't you dare," she said, smacking his arm. "Just tell me a damn story!"

"Fine, fine." Fang closed the laptop and placed it on the bedside table. He leaned his head back and thought as Max put a pillow in his lap and lay down on it, eyes looking up at Fang.

"Okay," he said calmly, once she was all settled in. "Once upon a time, there was a boy, and a girl, and a hope, and a dream--"

"NO!" Max shrieked-- it actually was more of a squawk, what with her voice being all but taken away lately. "Don't sit there and recite dirty lyrics!"

"_Those_ lyrics aren't dirty," Fang defended himself. After a pause, he added, "I think."

"Yes, but the rest of that song is. Jeez, Fang, what happened to all your hard rock crap?"

For a moment, Fang said nothing, debating whether or not this was a good idea. He decided to chance it. With a completely straight face, he said, "I wanna take a ride on a disco stick."

"FANG!"

"You asked to hear a story. That's the story."

Max sat straight up and began whacking him. "You-- sexist-- perverted-- sick-- _pig_!"

She went to whack him again, but Fang caught her wrist and held it in the air. They stared at each other, and he grinned, that grin that always melted her heart.

There were some footsteps creaking down the hall, and then Iggy's voice on the other side of the door. "The kid with the supersonic hearing doesn't really want to hear you telling Max about your _love game_."

Max went red; even Fang was a little flushed. But he managed to call out in as calm a voice as ever, "Go to bed, Iggy. Better get some sleep if you're getting up at seven."

"I've been trying, but you two--"

"Good_bye_, Iggy," Max called, and heard him sigh before stalking back down the hallway. Once they heard his door swing shut, she lay back down in Fang's lap and looked up at him. "You suck at bedtime stories."

Fang gave her a half-smile and moved the hair out of her face. "For some reason, I didn't think you'd want one about princesses, like we tell Angel."

"Good assumption. But, um, Fang? How _do_ you know that song?"

"Nudge."

"Ah."

**Sorry it's really short, I felt like that was a good place to stop. **

**This chapter had me laughing all day, every time I thought of it. Just the thought of emotionless, calm, Mr. Tall, Dark, Handsome and Silent sitting there with a straight face saying, "I wanna take a ride on a disco stick"… oh, man. Hahaha.**

**Review, pretty please with sugar on top??**


	10. Toilet Tank

**Well, I feel like the last chapter, and maybe the last two or three, haven't been very good, and a reviewer agreed with me-- which is fine; I needed that, probably. I hope this one is better… **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Maximum Ride, blah blah blah…**

"Angel! Angel, wake up! Come on!"

"What is it?" Angel asked, barely opening her eyes.

The Gasman's eyes were wide and fearful. "The toilet's overflowing!"

"Then get Iggy!"

"He'll be so mad at me!" Gazzy moaned. "You have to help me and Nudge make it stop! We have to get around the Big 3!"

The Big 3 was, of course, the name Nudge had made up in reference to Max, Fang, and Iggy. Angel rubbed sleep out of her eyes and swung her legs over the edge of the bed. The room was still dark, no light filtering in through the windows yet. From down the hall she could hear splashing.

"Please tell me you didn't go number two," she groaned, and Gazzy nodded quickly.

The two of them ran to the end of the hall, and Angel gasped as she saw the water spreading on the carpet. It was a _lot_.

"Wow, you're busted," Angel said, earning a sour look from her brother.

Inside, Nudge was sliding around on towels, even though the water just kept on coming. Her face was contorted in an expression of pain and disgust. "This is so gross," she complained. "First you get egg in my hair, and now I have to clean your _pee_ off the floor, like a chamber pot or something--"

"Not all of it's my pee!" Gazzy said defiantly. "Some of it's just clean water!"

Angel pushed past him, past Nudge, put the toilet lid down and kneeled on it. She lifted the top off of the toilet tank and peered inside.

"What are you doing?" the Gasman asked her.

"I saw Max do this once… she messed with the inside of this thing…" Angel reached in and tugged on a chain. "I don't remember, exactly…"

"Nudge can touch it and feel Max's thoughts!" Gazzy said. He was still standing in the doorway, despite the whole thing being his fault.

Angel hopped off the toilet and started mopping up water while Nudge started messing with the tank. "Okay, you take this and this… and do this… and…"

The water stopped flowing from the toilet abruptly, and Angel let out a quiet cheer. They had managed to get this fixed without waking the Big 3.

Gazzy came into the room and helped clean up, and when they were _finally_ just about done, Nudge went to put the lid back on the tank, and just as she leaned over it, something came loose and squirted water right in her face.

Forgetting that it was the middle of the night and they were trying to avoid the Big 3, Nudge shrieked and jumped back. She slipped on a puddle they'd missed and fell backward, cracking her head on the wall.

"Shh! Shh!" Gazzy and Angel hissed, but light footsteps were already making their way down the hall. All the kids could do was stare as Fang came to stand in the doorway, stepping carefully around the stains to a clean spot on the carpet.

They looked down sheepishly as they realized what Fang must be seeing: every towel they owned, crumbled and damp, lying around on the floor. Fresh water squirted all over the toilet, sink, floor, and dripping from Nudge's hair. The lid to the tank lying sideways in the sink.

Fang was not exactly happy with the three of them right now, after the hour it took him to get all of that egg off his face. And now, his face was _red_. Like, _really_ red.

"The toilet overflowed," Angel said quietly. "We were cleaning it up."

"Finish cleaning up," Fang said, but his voice was hoarse and croaky. Like Max's. "And after that, I want all three of you _in bed_. If you wake me up again tonight, I will personally wring your necks."

With that, he turned around and walked back down the hall. A moment later, the door to Max's room shut with a louder-than-usual thud.

The three kids looked at each other with wide eyes. That was just about as mad as they'd ever seen Fang.

"That was scary," the Gasman finally whispered, and the girls nodded their agreement.

"If that's what _Fang_ did, imagine what Max would have done," Nudge said.

Angel's eyes glazed over for a minute, and then her eyes went wide. "A _rap_ song has better language than Fang's head right now."

**(Insert sad face here) I don't know about this either! Post it anyway, next one. Next one will be good. Next one is Iggy taking care of Fang. Good, good.**

**Review!!!!!**


	11. Looking for Total

**Being with the family sure is tiring! I've chased kids all day but now they're watching a movie and I am **_**free! **_**For the moment. I haven't written all day, which I can rarely say at two in the afternoon. I feel so **_**peaceful**_**, I'm alone right now, it's **_**wonderful…**_

**Disclaimer: I do not own Maximum Ride, or High School Musical.**

"Iggy, come in here," Max called from her room. His footsteps came down the hall toward the room.

"What is it?" he called from the other side of the door.

"_In_ here, stupid!"

Huffing, Iggy opened the door and slipped into the room. Max sat up in bed, but put out one hand to make sure a very red Fang stayed laying down. "Can you make Fang some toast?"

"_Why_?" Iggy spat. "Shouldn't _he_ be making _you_ toast?"

"He just threw up, Ig." Max leaned over Fang to peer at the green bucket, still in its handy place next to the bed. "And clean the bucket, would you?"

As he stomped across the room and picked it up by the handle, Iggy seethed, "I can't believe you two can't control your freaking teenage hormones for _two days_! Sure you need Fang to take care of you. The whole time you were up here swapping spit-- ouch!"

Fang took his fist back and closed his eyes. "Hurry up, Figgy."

"You little-- ow! Stop!"

"Say another word and you die."

Making a beeline for the door, out of Fang's reach, Iggy called over his shoulder, "This would be a great time to get started on those Fax kids."

Max picked up a pillow and chucked it at the back of his head. "GET OUT!"

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Iggy shut the door to Max's room and walked into the bathroom, peeling the yellow gloves off his hands. He threw them in the trash can under the sink and wandered downstairs, hoping the lovebirds (get it? Birds? Ha…) wouldn't need any assistance for a while.

Angel saw him coming and bounded up to him, tears in her eyes. "Iggy! We can't find Total and Akila! We've looked _everywhere_, and I've called them in my mind, but they're _not here_!"

"Nudge, go tell Max," Iggy said, snapping into in-charge mode. Nudge immediately ran up the stairs. "Gazzy, Angel, we're going to turn this place upside down looking for him."

"Um, Ig…" Angel turned around to survey the living room, with the couch turned on its side, the desk knocked to the floor, pillows and cushions scattered around, and the TV crooked on the table. "I know you can't see it, but it's kind of already upside down…"

Cursing where only he and Angel could hear, Iggy walked into the kitchen. "What about in here? Did you look in every cabinet?"

"Yes."

"The bathroom?"

"Yes."

"Upstairs?"

"…oops. No."

"Well, go!"

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"…and then Angel said, 'This morning they were where they sleep' so we went and looked there, you know, and neither of them were there. So then we looked under the couch and stuff, but we had to lift it up because it was really dark, and then we were afraid if we put it down one of them would come out from nowhere and get squished by it. So now it's, like, sticking up in the air like the Empire State Building or something. And then we tried the toilet, because once Total got so thirsty he drank out of it, and--"

"Nudge!" croaked Max. "We're not forming a rescue mission over Total. I highly doubt they would have taken him and Akila and not us. So just look for him around here, alright? Don't go far."

"But Angel's really upset about it. He's her dog, you know? She--"

"Nudge," Max sighed, already fighting fatigue. Beside her, Fang started rubbing her arm. "Please, just go help look for them. I'm sure they're here somewhere."

"But--"

"Nudge, go," Fang said in a low, slightly congested-sounding voice.

With a sigh and an eye roll, Nudge turned around and sprinted out the bedroom door.

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"Total! Akila!" called Angel, stepping into the disaster zone that was her brother's room. "Where are you?"

She picked her way through the clothes and unidentifiable things lying around, but found nothing but more clothes and unidentifiable things. There was so much stuff crammed underneath the bed she couldn't even see to the other side; there was no way Total, much less Akila, could have fit under there. With a sigh, Angel stood up and walked over to the closet, where she knew the bombs were kept. They probably wouldn't be in there, but it never hurt to check…

She opened the door and peered down at the pile. One on top looked suspiciously like her favorite pink shirt, which had been missing for a couple weeks. Reaching out to touch it, Angel realized it was the shirt, and just as she was about to run into the hall and yell at Gazzy, the bomb started beeping.

Diving behind the bed, Angel crouched in a protective position and listened as the boom came.

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"Shit," Max muttered, climbing over Fang to get to the side of the bed. He grabbed her waist as she stumbled and almost did a face plant, then let go of her carefully. "I'm going to kill Iggy by the time we get better."

She shuffled out of the room and down the hall, Fang following close behind. Everybody was standing around outside Gazzy's room, looking in nervously. Thankfully, all four of them were there, safe and sound.

"What happened?" Max demanded, stepping into the room, then stopping short. Where the closet used to be, there was a hole the size of four doorways. It had gone right through the wall, so that the room was now connected to Angel's.

Turning back around, she glared at the Gasman. "Care to explain?"

"I didn't do anything!" he protested, throwing his hands up. "I mean, yeah, I made the bomb, but I didn't set it off!"

"I touched it," Angel said guiltily. "I was looking for Total and Akila in the closet and I saw they used my shirt to make it and I touched it. I didn't know that would set it off. Sorry, Max."

Max was getting a pounding headache on her left temple. "Okay, whatever," she said tiredly. "I guess your only punishment will be having to basically share a room. Have fun with that. I'm going to bed."

And she stalked back down the hallway, Fang on her heels.

0000000000

Iggy tried to keep his patience. "Angel, we've been flying out here for _hours_. They're not here!"

"But…" Angel blinked fast, trying not to cry. "Where could they have gone? We've searched everywhere within ten miles of the house."

"My wings are tired," sighed Nudge, losing altitude as she began to flap slower.

"We're going back, guys," Iggy announced, turning and swooping in the direction he knew the house to be. He heard Angel stifle a sob behind him, and tried to push aside the guilt that was eating at him.

0000000000

Fang logged into his e-mail quickly. Max was trying to sleep and moaned, "Stop being so loud, nimrod!" But he hadn't checked for new blog comments all day and needed to.

"Hmm, comments from obsessed fan girls…" he teased, and smirked when Max growled. He scrolled down, and a comment with the subject "From Total" caught his eye. "Max, look," he said, and clicked on it.

**Fang--**

**Akila and I were growing weary of waiting for the flock to plan our wedding, so I found a net and am working on flying my fair lady to Las Vegas, the City of Sin, to elope and finally begin our life together. We are currently at a rest stop in Missouri and I stole some poor chap's laptop in order to let you know. We knew not to bother you when we left at dawn, because the toilet disaster early this morning woke us both up. **

"What toilet disaster?" Max asked, confused.

"Oh, nothing."

**Anyway, please let Angel know that we are both okay, just off being joined as one. We're going to honeymoon here too, and will return in a few days' time. Oh, and Fang, tell your Akila (that would be Max, if you're slow today) that we hope she feels better.**

**Total**

"That is one weird dog," Fang said, shaking his head.

"I _really_ hope they don't come home with a bunch of winged puppies," Max replied.

**I left the original A/N at the top, but by the time I've finished this, the family's been long gone. I wrote, like, two paragraphs before the friend I was texting decided to come over, even though I told her I was trying to have my nice, quiet, **_**alone**_** writing time, and shortly after that I had to go break up a fight between a couple of the younger kids, and had no more time to write that day. Anyway, here this is. I needed a way to get Total out of the picture for a while, since I keep forgetting him.**

**By the way, I bought a pocket dictionary yesterday so that during school, when I'm bored, I can pick random words and write drabbles. Woot.**

**Review, review, review!!**


	12. Max is Having a Baby?

**Thanks to everybody who reviewed. They make me happy. And thanks to Kelsey Goode, who had the idea of the first, like, three lines of dialogue between Max and Fang! : )**

**Disclaimer: James Patterson owns Maximum Ride, and I do not.**

Later, Fang was growing tired of watching some soap opera with Max and reached for the remote, turning off the TV.

"Hey! I was watching that!"

"I have a better idea." He turned on his side and grinned. "Iggy was right. We should get working."

Max's eyes went wide. "_What_?"

"I meant we should make out." Fang rolled on top of Max and took her face in his hands. He could feel her heart pounding beneath him, and he grinned as he brushed his lips against hers. After he pulled away, the two lay there and stared at each other for a long moment.

And then Max put one hand behind Fang's head, gripping his hair, and pulled his head down to hers.

Their lips moved against each other for a few minutes before Max pushed against Fang, turning him over so that she was on top and keeping lip contact the whole time. His hands moved from her back down to her hips. On the left one, where her tank top had risen a little bit, he used his thumb to trace circles on the bare skin.

Max didn't notice the door opening and moaned loudly as soon as Fang's gentle fingers touched her hip. And then a disgusted voice cut into their make-out session.

"For the love of all that is holy!" shouted Iggy. "I did _not_ need to hear that!"

"Iggy!" Max exclaimed, blushing scarlet as she rolled off of Fang. "Iggy, it's not what it sounds like."

"Holy crap, when does Max _moan_ like that?" he asked, shaking his head. "Oh my… I am scarred for life."

"Iggy, really--"

"Fang, man, I guess it's good I'm blind so I can't see your girlfriend in whatever she's wearing-- or _not_ wearing."

"Iggy, she is fully dressed," Fang said firmly. "We both are."

"Soon, I'll be telling the kid, 'Yeah, Uncle Iggy has known you since the beginning. The _very_ beginning,'" Iggy went on, ignoring Fang. "I'll say, 'I was there when you were fertilized--'"

"IGGY!" snapped Max for the second time that day. "Stop! That's not what we were doing!"

"Wow." Shaking his head, seemingly forgotten what he'd come in there for in the first place, Iggy turned around and started to wander out of the room. "I can't believe they-- wow. I'm going to go nuts here."

Before either of the blushing bird kids could protest further, Iggy was walking rapidly down the hallway, still muttering to himself. Max turned onto her stomach and buried her head in a pillow. "That was horrible."

Fang chuckled nervously and rubbed between her wings. "I think we traumatized the poor guy for life."

0000000000

Iggy dialed Dr. Martinez's number, his fingers moving on instinct, and then held the phone up to his ear. It rang twice before her voice came through on the other line. "Hello?"

"Dr. Martinez? This is Iggy." His voice was still coming out shaky.

"Iggy?" Probably noticing the waver in his voice, she added, "What's wrong?"

"Um, nothing, except that Max and Fang are pretty sick and…"

"And what?" Dr. Martinez prompted gently.

"I kind of just walked in on them… um… you know…"

"_What?_"

"Yeah… this place is spinning out of orbit…" At that moment there was a loud crash from downstairs, followed by Nudge's and Angel's yells. "Can you come? We live out in the country, about an hours' drive from Baltimore; I could fly out and meet you and give you directions and you can drive to the house…"

"We'll be on the next available flight," she said, and then her voice was muffled, followed by a shriek of excitement from Ella. "I'll call you before we take off and let you know what time we're getting in, alright?"

"Yeah," Iggy said. "Thanks. Bye." He hung up, let out a huge sigh, and went downstairs to see what had been broken.

0000000000

Dr. Martinez inhaled, held it for ten seconds, and exhaled. She thought Max was more responsible than to do this at fourteen. What had come over her?

"Mom?" Ella asked, noticing how tense her mother was. They were waiting in line to get through to security. "Are you okay?"

"Fine, honey," Dr. Martinez replied distractedly.

"Iggy said something and you freaked out. What did he say?" Ella laughed and joked, "Is Max having a baby or something?"

Her mother shook her head quickly, but her face went white.

Ella's eyes went wide, and her jaw dropped.

0000000000

"Your mom called," Iggy said, leaning in the doorway of Max's room. He'd stopped at the door and listened _very _carefully before stepping inside. "They were just about to board. They'll arrive at 7:23."

"You should leave at 6:30 to get there in time," Max said tiredly. Her pounding headache was back. "Land a ways from the airport and walk the rest so nobody sees you."

"Got it," Iggy told her with a mock salute, and went downstairs to finish making the kids' snacks.

_In nine months, there could very well be another bird kid sitting at this table, _he thought as he sprinkled raisins on the peanut butter spread on the slices of bread.

_What? _Angel asked in his mind.

Iggy spun around to see her standing in the doorway, looking confused, eyebrows all the way up her forehead. "Oh, Angel, I was just-- kidding--"

A huge smile stretched across her face. "Max is having a baby?" she whisper-shouted, jumping up and down excitedly. "Is its name going to be Minimum?"

"She's not--"

"Don't worry, I won't tell Nudge or Gazzy," Angel said, grinning at him and skipping out of the room.

Iggy groaned and turned back to the sandwiches. Just as he was placing them on the table, he heard Nudge shout, "ZOMG! NO WAY!"

_Man_, was he going to get it.

**Two chapters in one day! I really wanted to get this one done for you guys since the review turn out for Chapter 11 was so good. I appreciate every single one of them!**

**I know this story is getting kind of, like, deserving of the T rating, but I highly doubt it's going to get worse than this. After the Love Game chapter, I figured it was already pretty deserving.**

**How was my description of the make-out scene? Never written anything like that before, I don't think.**

**Um… I guess that's all. Overall, I'm pleased with this chapter. Review, review, review!!**

**Edit: I went to post it and I think the log in thing is busted again. I wrote it in the same day, but you're not getting in on the same one, apparently. Sorry!**


	13. Geez Louise!

**Did anybody notice that the disclaimer in Chapter 11, I think, the disclaimer also says that I don't own High School Musical? Yeah, HSM was originally involved in that chapter and I forgot to change the disclaimer when I changed the chapter. Oops. Just wanted to acknowledge that.**

**Oh, and in other news, I wrote my first drabble EVER this morning. I was laying in bed, awake but daydreaming, and I wrote it. I haven't written it down yet, as in with a pen and paper, but it's all up there in the ol' noggin!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Maximum Ride.**

"Iggy, the baggage claim is down to the left," Dr. Martinez told him. "We have a bag down there."

"Alright," he said. "Is the bathroom around here? I'll go while you two are doing that."

"Right behind you."

"Meet you down there, then," Iggy said, and went into the bathroom.

The Martinez's began the walk to the baggage claim, and Ella briefly contemplated asking her mom about Max's baby. But she'd looked pretty freaked earlier, so she decided not to mention it.

After a few minutes, they found their bag and began the walk back to the bathrooms to meet Iggy, since he'd never come to meet them.

"Uh-oh," said Ella when they spotted him.

"Oh, I told him it was to the left, didn't I?" Dr. Martinez sighed. "I meant the right."

00

Iggy stepped out of the bathroom and turned left, going to join Dr. Martinez and Ella at the baggage claim. He kept one hand slightly out to the side so he would know if he was about to hit the wall.

As he walked, he suddenly found himself being bumped on both sides by people. And then a woman's voice saying, "Okay, you can go."

Iggy wondered why someone was clearing him to go to the baggage claim, but shrugged and kept walking. The air suddenly felt different, and his feet were on a different surface.

"Welcome!" came a cheery voice as he stepped onto yet another odd surface. "Please find your seat quickly so the other passengers can follow."

Oh, crap.

00

"What do we do?" Ella asked her mom as they both watched Iggy disappear down the tunnel to the plane.

"I guess we call Max and ask her for the instructions," Dr. Martinez sighed. "No need to worry about Iggy. He'll find his way back."

They went over to a payphone and put in the change. Then Dr. Martinez dialed the house and waited.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Nudge. It's Max's mom."

"Ooh! Dr. M! We haven't seen you and Ella in for-_ev_-er! I can't wait until you get here! Hey, why are you calling, anyway? Didn't Iggy meet you?"

"He did, but he accidentally got on a plane to--" she looked over her shoulder at the sign by the gate. "New York. We need the directions to your house."

Nudge gasped. "Oh, he can't go to New York! All the different sounds confuse him! Oh, um, directions. Right." She read them the directions off the extra set Iggy had written up, just in case.

"Thanks, Nudge. We'll take a taxi to the rental car place and be there in a couple hours. Alright?"

"Okay! Tell Ella I said hi! Bye!"

00

"Um, ma'am?" Iggy spoke in the direction of the cheery woman's voice. "See, I'm blind, and I'm not supposed to be on this plane. I just got lost."

"Sir, you're in the right place. They wouldn't have let you on without the ticket."

"I don't know why they let me on," he said. "But it's not where I'm supposed to be."

"Sir, please just find your seat. I assure you we know what we're doing."

"I don't know my seat because I don't have a ticket!"

"Sir…" The voice was no longer cheery; it was one of forced patience. "You would not have been let on this plane without a ticket. Now please, take your seat."

Giving up, Iggy moved toward the back of the plane and took a seat right in front of where he felt the wall end. He sat in silence for a couple minutes, hating not being able to see what was going on and also not having someone to tell him.

"Hey!"

Oh, good. Another cheery voice.

He heard somebody sit down in the seat next to him.

"Hiya. I'm Louise. I have to ride on this plane alone. I'm going to visit my uncle in New York. What are you doing in New York?"

A little girl. Like she was working for Itex. "Um… vacation."

"Lots of people go to New York for vacation, don't they? I've been lots of times. I bet it doesn't count as vacation anymore. Why are you all alone? Don't people go on vacations with their families?"

"I got sick of my family."

"How do you get sick of your family? That's really mean! I _love_ my family. Even though my little brother pulls my hair and my big brother calls me Squirt and puts things up high so I can't get to them. Do you have brothers?"

"Two."

"Older or younger?"

"One older, one younger."

"Just like me!" squealed Louise happily, hooking her arm through his. "We have so much in common. You can be my new best friend!"

"Oh…" Iggy tried to smile at the kid, since she seemed nice and sweet and everything… but she was almost as bad as Nudge. "Cool…"

_An hour later…_

"…and I tried it with ketchup, but it was _so _nasty, so then I used mustard, and it was yummy!"

Iggy nodded. Louise had not quit talking since she'd sat down next to him, and all he really did was nod or say "Yeah" every once in a while. They were currently descending into New York, and he was grateful for that much, at least.

"And you know, there was this cute boy in my class last year. I really liked him. Once, when we were on the playground together, he tried to kiss me. But then the recess bell rang and we had to go in." Louise's voice grew sad. "And then he never tried again."

This story made him think of Max and Fang, and next thing he knew, he was staring right where he thought Louise would be. "You shouldn't get involved with boys right now," he said. "How old are you?"

"Eight."

"Yeah, you should wait, like, seven years. My… older brother started dating my… friend…" 'My brother dated my sister' wouldn't sound good… "And they did something not-very-smart."

"Oh… what did they do?"

Iggy blanched. "Um… they had a big fight."

"That's sad. What kind of fight?"

"Um… over what to make for dinner that night."

"And what did they decide?" This girl would be a good attorney, shooting out questions like there's no tomorrow.

"Spaghetti."

"Was the spaghetti good?"

Iggy held back a snort at the thought of anything made by Max or Fang being 'good'. "It was great."

"I love spaghetti. My grandma makes the best in the world! Probably even better than your brother's spaghetti. No offense."

"Oh, you're probably right," Iggy said. _You have no idea, kid._

"Sweetie?" The flight attendant's voice cut into their conversation. "Why don't you come to a closer seat so we can get you to your uncle quickly?"

"Okay!" Louise told the attendant, and Iggy heard the seat belt unbuckle as she jumped up. A second later, skinny arms were around his neck. "Bye, um-- you never told me your name!"

"James."

"James! I'm gonna miss you, James! I can't wait to tell my uncle about my new BFF! Bye, James!"

"Bye, Louise."

Her happy, skipping footsteps followed the flight attendant to the front.

For the first time since Max and Fang had gotten sick, silence fell over him.

Boy, it was nice.

**Sorry about the lack of dealing with the Max-and-Fang situation in this chapter. Next time, I promise. **

**Thanks for reading, and review, please! I read every single one of them!**


	14. Do You Understand the Consequences?

**Okay, PLEASE read: I think, if you have this on alert, it will send you an alert every time the chapter is replaced-- meaning you got a lot of alerts for this chapter. The formatting was messed up, and I kept trying to fix it and repost it. I didn't even think about the e-mails before. Really, really sorry about that. Really.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Maximum Ride.**

"Dr. M! Ella!"

Angel, Gazzy and Nudge raced to hug Dr. Martinez and Ella as they came through the doorway. The two hugged them back, and as soon as the little party was over, Dr. Martinez asked, "Where's Max?"

"Upstairs," Angel said with a sweet smile.

"Thanks, Ange." She took off up the stairs, leaving her luggage by the door.

As soon as she was out of earshot, Ella turned to the others. "Did you hear about Max?"

"YES!" Nudge squealed, jumping up and down. Angel shushed her. "Sorry. It's so funny, the other day me and Angel were talking about what they would name their kids and now they're going to have one to name!"

"_What?_" the Gasman asked, his eyes going wide. "Max is having a baby?"

"Yep!" Angel told him happily.

"It comes out her stomach, right?"

"I think so." Angel looked to Ella for help.

"That's right, Gazzy," she told him.

The Gasman looked confused. "How did it _get_ in her stomach, anyway?"

He was looking at Ella, waiting for an answer. She shot a nervous glance at Nudge, who also appeared to be curious about the answer. Apparently she didn't know yet.

Ella took the easy way out.

"Um, I'm not sure."

0000000000

"Hey, Mom!" said Max when Dr. Martinez entered her bedroom.

"Hey, honey," she replied, smiling at her daughter and her boyfriend. Even if she was going to have to have a serious talk with them, she could see what the two meant to each other, that they fit together like a puzzle. Though she would never tell anybody, at the risk of exposing some of her inner-teenage-girlishness, she thought they were an adorable couple.

Dr. Martinez saw a chair sitting in the corner of the room and dragged it over beside the bed. Max lifted her head up from Fang's chest to look at her mom. "Max, I want to make sure you understand the consequences of… getting carried away."

Max's brow furrowed. "Carried away with what?"

"Well, Iggy told me--"

Groaning loudly, Max rolled her eyes. "It's a big misunderstanding. He's _blind_, Mom. He doesn't know what he's talking about."

"So you didn't…?"

"No! We're fourteen!"

Dr. Martinez chuckled. "Wow. I'm sorry, sweetie. I should have known the whole thing was a mistake. But out of curiosity, why did he think that?"

Max blushed and bit her lip. Fang hadn't looked at Dr. Martinez the whole time, but he went slightly red as he continued to focus on the ceiling. "He, um-- he heard me moan," she muttered.

"He what? I couldn't hear you."

"He heard me moan," Max repeated, slightly louder, looking anywhere but her mother's face.

Dr. Martinez's eyebrows shot up. "And why were you moaning?" she asked, praying it had to do with her illness. Both of them did look pretty bad.

"Well, we were kissing," she said, then quickly added, "but we weren't doing _that_! Iggy just got it in his head we were and wouldn't let us explain!"

Nodding, Dr. Martinez stood up and leaned over Fang to kiss her daughter's forehead. "Well, it's nice to see you, honey. I know Iggy's glad to let someone else take over. Let me know if you need anything, okay?"

"Thanks, Mom." Max smiled at her until she pulled the door shut behind her. Then: "I'm going to smash Iggy's face in. I'm going to make him clean his own blood off the floor. And I'm going to laugh mercilessly."

"Overreaction much?" Fang asked her.

"No! My _mother_ thought-- ugh!" She covered her face with a pillow. "I have never been so humiliated in my life. Never. Ever."

Fang turned on his side and draped an arm over her stomach. "What about the Valium?"

"Not even then."

"You know, both of these things go right back to you _looooving_ me."

"Fang!"

0000000000

Ella, Nudge and Angel waited until Dr. Martinez settled into the couch with a book before sneaking upstairs and slipping into Max's room.

"Hey, Max, hey, Fang!" the three of them chorused.

"Hey, guys," Max said, smiling at them. "Ella, hi!"

Angel leaned forward excitedly, her blue eyes sparkling. "I heard the news."

Max's brow furrowed. "News? What news?"

"_You_ know," Nudge giggled, wiggling her eyebrows.

Max sat up on her elbows, and Fang turned his head to stare at the three girls as well. "No, I don't."

"The _baby_, Max!" Ella exclaimed, exasperated.

"_Baby_?" she shrieked, sitting straight up. Fang growled a little bit, rolling his eyes in annoyance. "Angel, did you get that out of Iggy's head?"

"Yeah!"

"Guys," Max said, trying desperately to keep her cool. "Iggy's wrong. There is no baby. And there will _be_ no baby any time in the near future. Okay?"

Angel looked confused. "How did I mess that up?" "I don't know, but I suddenly have a huge headache," Max sighed, laying back down. "Could you guys, like, go watch TV or something? We might come down later and hang out, if we feel like it."

"Okay," said Nudge and Angel, who both looked very disappointed at the turn of events. Ella gave her sister a quick hug and followed the younger girls out the door.

Max and Fang sat in silence for a few minutes, before Fang turned to smirk at her. "No baby in the _near_ future, huh?"

"_Fang_!"

**It's okay. Threw in a couple witty lines from the Fang-ster.**

**Um, not much to say. Except I wrote another drabble. My second ever. I'm not sure if I like it.**

**Anyway, PLEASE review!!! Even if it's only one word!**


	15. Iggy Gets It

**Sorry this has taken me a few days! Minor writer's block! It's all good now… I think!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Maximum Ride.**

Once in New York, Iggy had found a pay phone and called the house, saying he was about to find a quiet area where he could take off. Dr. Martinez was worried about him being able to find his way back to the house, but he told her he'd made the flight from Baltimore to New York a couple times before and could do it by now.

Around ten, the doorbell rang and the flock (minus Max and Fang) and Ella almost trampled each other running for the front door.

"Iggy!" yelled Nudge, jumping into his arms. He staggered but managed to stay upright. "Why'd you get on a plane? Didn't you feel sick, it was all closed in and everything? I wanted to jump out the window _so_ bad!"

"Choking," gasped out Iggy, prying Nudge's arms off of his neck and placing her on the floor. He moved into the house and shut the door behind him.

"Did you find your way alright, Iggy?" Dr. Martinez asked, rushing up and giving him a quick hug.

"Yeah," he said. "It was fine." _Except for that girl that was almost as annoying as Nudge_, he added mentally.

Angel gasped. "That's so mean, Iggy!"

He sighed and moved toward the kitchen. "You guys rock," he said dryly.

0000000000

"I hear Iggy's voice," Max hissed, jumping out of bed. "I am going to strangle that stupid mutant bird kid!"

"Would you calm down?" Fang groaned.

She turned on him. "Of course you wouldn't care, you sexist pig! You were all, 'no baby in the _near_ future, huh?'"

"I was just quoting you."

After a quick pick-your-battles moment, Max decided to ignore Fang for now, and forgot about how miserable she felt as she took off running down the hallway. With an annoyed sigh, Fang rose to his feet and chased after her.

"IGGY!" Max yelled, stomping down the stairs.

"In here!" called Angel sweetly, giggling as she heard what Max was thinking.

When she arrived in the doorway of the kitchen, Max stopped abruptly and glared at Iggy-- not that he could see her. Fang bumped into her, not able to halt quick enough.

"Why is it so quiet?" asked Iggy, a little nervously.

"I am going to hurt you," growled Max, taking big steps to cross the kitchen until she was nose-to-chest with Iggy. "You're going to hurt in ways you didn't know were _possible_."

"Wow, I'm scared," he said.

Max set her jaw and grabbed his hand, and an awful, sickening snap was heard. Iggy howled in pain. "You sprained my wrist!"

"Would you like to see what else I can do?" she asked in a dark tone that would send somebody who didn't know her cowering in a corner.

With one quick movement, Iggy slipped behind her and ran behind the kitchen table. Max chased him around it twice, screaming, and then followed him into the living room. Her mother tried to restrain her as she dashed past, but it was no use. Everybody followed the two, like a group of paparazzi.

"Gazzy?" asked Iggy nervously, moving about as Max got closer and closer. "Which way do I go? Where is she?"

"Too late," Max sang, backing him into a corner with no escape. "Now, _Igmund_, let's review why I'm mad, okay? You walk in on me and Fang _kissing_, you promptly tell the whole flock, _and_ my mom, _and_ my sister, that I'm pregnant, then you freak everybody out by getting on an _airplane_ to New York! And the worst thing is the second one, you _idiot_!"

"Max? Max." Dr. Martinez slid in-between Max and Iggy. "Let him tell his side of the story, okay? Then we can figure this out."

Max crossed her arms over her chest and glared over her mom's shoulder at Iggy. "You have sixty seconds, mutant."

"Max."

"Sorry, Mom."

"If you were blind and you heard someone moan, wouldn't you think that?" Iggy snapped.

"I don't totally get it," Angel whispered to Nudge so that nobody else could hear it. "I don't get why Iggy thought kissing meant Max was pregnant."

"I don't either," Nudge replied, forehead wrinkling in confusion.

"No! I'd actually find out what was going on first!"

"Well, that's because you're bossy and always have to have your nose in what's going on around here! And I told _nobody anything_, except your mom. She must have told Ella."

"And how does the flock know?"

"Angel."

"Why did she think I was pregnant, though?"

Iggy's face turned even paler than it already was. "Well… I made a, um… sarcastic remark… in my head… that she heard…"

"I'M GONNA KILL YOU!" Max got around her mom easily and grabbed Iggy, tackling him to the floor. She straddled his hips and punched him in the gut.

"Hey, Fang, are you okay with your girlfriend being in this position-- ow!"

Dr. Martinez moved behind Max and tried to grab her flailing arms. "Max, come on. Get off him."

Her words had no effect on Max. She kept hitting him, on the chest, the arms, and only after she stayed true to her word and broke his nose did Fang haul her off of Iggy, squirming and kicking in his strong grasp.

"Eat your own blood for dinner," snarled Max as Fang scooped her up and started towards the stairs.

"Down, girl," he muttered, earning a smack of his own.

"Watch it, Fang."

0000000000

"Ouch," moaned Iggy as Dr. Martinez tightened the bandages around the split on his nose. At long last, they had finally made it stop bleeding, and now they were finishing up on his nose before they worked on his wrist.

"Sorry, Ig," she sighed. "I'll make Max apologize to you once you're both feeling better."

Iggy nodded, trying not to laugh. The day Max apologized would also be the day she decided to give up and go back to the School.

"For now," Dr. Martinez continued, "you just rest here for a couple days. I don't want you moving your wrist a lot-- she sprained it pretty bad-- so don't get up much except to use the rest room, alright?"

"I'm supposed to be watching the kids," he grunted, trying to sit up but immediately being pushed down again. "Max's orders."

"I think Max has done enough," she said, and he could hear the smile in her voice. "I'll look after the kids."

Those words coming out of somebody's mouth besides his own made Iggy extremely happy. "Good luck, Dr. M."

She laughed. "How hard can it be?"

"You have no idea," he muttered as her footsteps retreated into the kitchen.

**Like it? Hate it? I'm not the greatest fan of this one, but I guess it's what you guys, the readers, think that really matters.**

**Yeah, sorry about the delay. I'll try to post again really soon, but my birthday's this weekend and I'll be busy. **

**Review, please!!**


	16. So Many Thoughts, So Little Time

**Ugh, sorry this took a few days, guys! Ideas for this story aren't just coming from all directions like they used to! If you have any, please review and let me know! If I use your idea I'll credit you!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Maximum Ride.**

Angel was playing in her room when Dr. Martinez came in with Gazzy. "It's time for bed, you two."

"Okay!" she said happily, getting up off the floor and crawling into bed. Her brother walked through the huge hole in the wall to his bed.

"Oh my," said Dr. Martinez, just noticing the wall. "What happened?"

"Gazzy blew it up."

"Did not!" he yelled. "If you hadn't been messing with my bombs--"

"Ok. That's all I need to know. Good night, you two."

"Good night, Dr. M," they chorused as she smiled at them and shut Angel's door softly behind her.

0000000000

_Damn, I love her._

_Where did he learn to kiss?_

_I would never mind being sick if I could just stay in here and make out with Max._

Angel giggled with each thought that passed through Max and Fang's heads. She'd tried to sleep, but their thoughts were loud and she couldn't block them out. So now she was sitting up in bed and listening intently.

"What is so _funny_?" snapped the Gasman, covering his face with his pillow. "Whose thoughts are you listening to?"

"Max and Fang's."

"Ew. I bet they're all mushy and gross."

_I _still_ want to do this all the time!_

Angel burst out laughing again. Gazzy moved the pilow and scowled over at her. "I hate having that hole in the wall! I can't sleep because you won't shut up!"

"Well, _I_ can't sleep because Max and Fang are thinking a lot!"

"Go somewhere else to spy on them!"

"No! This is my bed!"

At that moment, Gazzy let one rip.

"Ew!" Angel shot up immediately. "Gazzy! That was _disgusting_!"

As he watched his sister dash out of the room, the Gasman laughed maniacally and settled back into his pillow.

0000000000

After fleeing the contaminated room, Angel went to Iggy's and settled down into his bed, since he was staying downstairs until his wrist was better. Unfortunately, his room was much closer to Max's than hers.

_She tastes good. Like bubblegum and peppermint._

_This is awesome and all, but him laying on top of me is kind of painful._

Angel glanced at the clock on the nightstand (why did Iggy even have one?) and saw that it was almost eleven. Max and Fang were _sick_. Surely they couldn't keep this up much longer!

For a while longer, she lay there, giggling at the thoughts that just wouldn't stop. Then there were footsteps in the hallway, and Iggy tiptoed into the room. "Angel?" he asked, hearing her laughs. "Is that you?"

"Yeah," she said suspiciously. "You're supposed to be on the couch!"

"I couldn't get comfortable." He shrugged and lifted her easily out of the bed before taking her place. "Go back to your room, kid."

"But remember, there's a hole in the wall so Gazzy's and mine are together and he made it _stink_!" wailed Angel. "Where am I supposed to sleep?"

"Go to the couch."

Angel sighed. "Fine. Night, Iggy."

"Night, Ange."

0000000000

The couch was located right under Max's room. Total was gone, so there were no arguments over the couch, but that didn't help much. Max and Fang's thoughts were only slowing down a little bit, so Angel decided to go wait outside the door and eavesdrop a little more until they decided to go to sleep.

As she reached the top of the stairs, she searched for anybody else's thoughts and found Iggy's. _Man, Fang's a lucky guy._

Angel's eyes went wide.

_Anybody who can get Max to make out with them is the freaking best ladies' man on earth. Wish I could do that._

She gasped and covered her mouth with her hand. Iggy was in love with Max, too?

She poked her head around the corner and looked both ways. Seeing nobody in the hallway, she sprinted to Max's room and threw herself inside.

Fang immediately rolled off of Max so he was laying beside her. Max sat straight up as Angel lunged onto the bed. "Angel? What's the matter, sweetie?"

"I just heard something really bad in Iggy's head!" she said.

"What was it?" Max pulled Angel onto her lap.

"Iggy's in love with you," she whispered.

"What?! No he's not!"

"He was thinking about how lucky Fang is to be kissing you and how he wishes he could do that!"

Max huffed and moved to hand Angel to Fang so she could get up, but he pulled her back down. "I'll corner him in the morning, okay? Trust me, he won't want to talk to you about this."

"And he'll want to talk to _you_, the main thing standing in his way of being with me?"

"Yes, because this is _guy_ stuff," Fang said in a 'duh' voice. "You wouldn't get it."

Max rolled her eyes. "Whatever. If he hits on me, I'm still kicking his ass."

**Poor Iggy. He's so misunderstood.**

**Again, sorry about how long this took! I hope it was okay, because it was sort of forced. It got better toward the end, I think, but definitely not the best chapter of this story! On the bright side, it's also probably not the worst. Anyway, please leave me a review! They light up my day!**


	17. Iggy Gets It Again

**Hm… not much to say here. Thanks to everybody who reviewed! Here we go:**

**Disclaimer: James Patterson owns Maximum Ride, and I do not.**

"Dude."

Iggy pulled the covers up over his head and groaned. "I'm free of any and all duties because your girlfriend pummeled me."

Fang stepped into the room and shut the door behind him. "This is _not_ cool, dude."

"_What's_ not cool?"

"You know what I'm talking about."

Iggy sat up straight and glared in his general direction. "No, I don't!"

"Look, you can tell me, alright? I'm the only other man in this house."

There was a long pause, and then Iggy stood up. _Angel must have told him I was wishing I could do to Ella what he does to Max_. "Yeah, okay. I just… don't know what to do. She seems so off-limits, you know?"

"That's because she _is_," Fang replied slightly defensively, leaning on the door with his arms crossed over his chest.

Iggy groaned. "I know! Her mom being here makes it so hard to make a move!"

"Her _mom_ is the only thing keeping you from making a move?"

"Well, yeah! None of us are used to having adults around. I don't get how we're supposed to work around her being everywhere at the same time."

Fang bit his lip. Was Iggy seriously asking him for advice to flirt with Max?

"_I_ figured it out," he finally said. "I guess that's why she chose _me_." The emphasis on 'me' sort of came out by itself.

"I choose _her_," sighed Iggy, thinking of Ella. Of course he didn't see Fang's jaw tighten. "Cheesy as it sounds. Man, if she returned that I'd be the happiest freaking man alive. Take her away in the middle of the night to get married and--"

"I get it!" Fang said, raising his voice only slightly but seething on the inside.

"Every time Angel sends me a mental image of her, my stomach gets all--"

"Iggy!"

0000000000

Max was alone in her room, watching a movie, when she heard Fang's enraged voice yelling at Iggy. She sprang up and ran out the door, down the hall, and into Iggy's room.

"Stop, okay? Back off of her! She doesn't want to be with you, and if I catch you trying anything--"

"Fang!" Max grabbed his arm and restrained him, with difficulty, as he advanced toward Iggy. "Cut it out! Calm down!"

Iggy held his hands up. "What's your problem, man? Why the hell would you care if I wanted to ask out Ella?"

Fang stopped fighting to move forward. Max's arms went limp around him as they both stared. "You what?" asked Max.

"I like Ella! I was just telling Fang how I'm having a hard time asking her out and he attacked me!"

"Ig, I thought you were talking about asking out Max," Fang said calmly.

"What? No! You freaking idiot!"

"Iggy, Angel told us she got from your head that you were in love with me," Max said slowly. "That's the only reason he thought that."

"I wasn't thinking about _you_! Can a guy have no privacy around here?"

"We won't tell Ella," Fang said as he and Max started sheepishly for the door. "And, um, sorry."

A second later, Iggy was alone in his room thinking about how he was going to hurt Angel and how much he hoped Ella hadn't heard that conversation and disgust over the idea of being in love with Max, plus what Fang had been about to do to him.

It was tough being a blind pyro with wings.

**Sorry it's so short! This will probably be the last chapter with the misunderstanding, mind-reading, love stuff. We'll return to normal flock mayhem next chapter. **

**Thanks for reading, please review with a cherry on top!**


	18. Caffeine Kick

**Hey, guys! Sorry this took a few days… again. Any ideas are appreciated!**

**This was inspired by my own tendency to act overly hyper and giddy and giggly when I drink Mountain Dew.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Maximum Ride.**

"Look what I found, guys!" the Gasman said happily, reaching into the fridge. He came up a moment later with a can of Mountain Dew. "It was hidden in the back, behind some other stuff. I guess the others forgot it was here."

"I want one!" Angel said, reaching in to grab a can of her own.

Nudge looked skeptical. "Max doesn't like us to have that stuff. She said it makes us bounce off the wall and talk and scream too much and--"

"Max is sick," Gazzy said, handing her a can. She looked at it critically. "Dr. M never told us we weren't allowed to drink it. Besides, it's _good_."

Nudge sighed and popped it open before taking a big swig. "Oh, man, it _is_!"

The three of them filled their large bird kid bellies with four cans of caffeine each, before retreating into the living room to watch TV.

_One hour later…_

"Max Max Max Max Max Max Max Max--"

"Nudge!" Dr. Martinez came up behind her and clapped a hand over her mouth. "Max and Fang are trying to sleep, sweetie. What do you need?"

"I don't know! I just haven't seen Max today, you know, and I wanted to say hi--"

"Say hi after she wakes up," Dr. Martinez replied, taking Nudge's shoulders and starting to lead her back down the stairs. Halfway down, Nudge ran on ahead, skidding around the corner and sprinting into the living room.

Dr. Martinez rolled her eyes. She didn't understand how her daughter kept these kids under control.

In the living room, Nudge threw herself over the back of the couch and sat beside Angel. "Hey. What're you doing?"

"Reading Fang's blog comments. Ooh, look at this one."

_hey nicky-poo! I miss u sooooo much! I luv u! xoxo, lissa_

"Who's Nick? Who's Lissa? Oh! Nick is Fang, 'cause that was his name in Virginia, right? Yeah, so who's Lissa?"

Angel only knew the answer because of the insight she had into Max and Fang's heads. "She was this red headed girl in Virginia who kissed Fang and made Max _totally _jealous."

"Aww! That was, like, the beginning of Fax!" squealed Nudge.

Angel got a mischievous grin on her face. "Hey, look. Fang's still logged in." She clicked on "new post" and started typing.

**Welcome to Fang's Blog!**

**Today's Date: August 30, 2009**

**You are visitor number: I guess it's still broken!**

**Hello.**

**This is Fang, and I just read a comment I did not really appreciate. Lissa, please get it through your thick skull that I'm taken, alright? Also, you'll be really, really happy to know that I'm dating the girl that hated your guts because you kissed me, and she **_**looooved**_** me. This much.**

"What does that mean?" Nudge asked. She held her arms out. "_This_ much? What are you talking about?"

"Tell you later."

**Yeah, and I loooove her too. **_**This**_** much. So back off!**

**Fang**

**P.S. I play a mean harmonica, and I play it every night until my girlfriend gets to sleep.**

Angel used spell check, then clicked "post" and waited for the page to load. A minute later, the post came up on the front page. Nudge and Angel looked at it for a moment, reading it over, and then burst out laughing.

"Fang's gonna kill us…" Nudge shrieked, doubled over and clutching her stomach.

"I know!" Angel gasped, sliding the laptop onto the couch next to her so she could stand up. The two of them kept laughing maniacally for the next three minutes.

"It's… not even… that funny!" Angel squealed. "Why… are… we… laughing?"

"I'm… not… sure!"

_Meanwhile…_

The Gasman was bored, and he felt the overwhelming urge to make a bomb. Must have been the caffeine talking. He started sifting through the kitchen drawers and pulling things out. When he was done, his stash consisted of a pair of scissors, a fork, a crayon, a pen, some matches, and a piece of cheese.

"Alright," he muttered. "Put this here and this there and do this… ah, crap… there we go…"

"Gazzy?"

He looked up to see Dr. Martinez standing in the doorway. "Hi, Dr. M."

"Gazzy, I doubt you're supposed to be playing with these," she said, crossing the room and taking the matches. She eyed the object sitting on the counter. "Do I want to know what that is?"

"Probably not."

Dr. Martinez sighed. "Just don't get in trouble, alright, Gaz?"

"Okay."

As soon as she left the kitchen, the Gasman put the finishing touches on his bomb and then stood back and looked at it, trying to figure how to light it.

His eyes drifted over towards the microwave. And then he grinned.

Grabbing his creation, Gazzy flung open the door and shoved it inside. Then he set it for one minute and waited.

Twenty seconds later, it started popping, and on closer inspection, he could see sparks. Grinning, he stepped back and waited for it to explode.

_Boom!_

It wasn't supposed to explode like _that_.

0000000000

Nudge and Angel's laughing fit was interrupted when something erupted from the kitchen. They exchanged a glance, then ran into the kitchen.

"OHMIGOSH!" Nudge screamed. "WHAT DID YOU DO?!"

"It was supposed to cause a _small_ explosion!" the Gasman defended, looking sheepishly at where the counter and microwave had been. Now all that was there was a pile of rubble.

"_Gazzy_!"

With a gulp, he raised his head and met Max's glare. "Hi, Max."

"Gazzy," she growled. Fang's head appeared beside hers, and then so did Dr. Martinez's. "There is a hole in the hallway floor."

"Um… yeah, about that--"

"Did Iggy put you up to this?"

"I am bedridden!" came Iggy's voice, from upstairs. "Whatever he says, it's all _his_ fault!"

Max set her jaw and looked back down at Gazzy. Nudge and Angel were safely in the doorway, where she couldn't see them. "Would you mind _not_ blowing up the parts of this house that are still in tact?"

"Yeah…"

"I'm going back to bed," she went on grouchily. "Please don't let me wake up with water dripping on me from a hole in the _roof_, alright?"

"Okay…"

Max stood up, still grumbling to herself. Fang followed suit. They stepped carefully around the huge hole and started back down the hallway to her room. Dr. Martinez sighed. "I guess I'll go warn Iggy about this."

She left, too, and then it was just the three kids in the kitchen. The Gasman sighed, and the girls had another hysterical laughing fit.

Feeling a sudden adrenaline rush-- that caffeine was definitely not wearing off-- he unfurled his wings and moved to leave the kitchen. In the next moment, Gazzy was shooting up, through the hole, and bouncing-- literally-- off the ceiling.

"_Ow_!"

0000000000

Lissa's eyes bugged out of her head as she read Fang's latest blog entry. She'd kissed that boy that went to her school for a few weeks, a long time ago, and remembered how weird his "sister" had acted towards her. And how many girls named Lissa were there? Not many. This meant… Nick was _Fang_? He had _wings_?

But she hadn't written in a comment! She'd been reading the blog pretty much since it was first published, but never once did she write in to Fang. Maybe he was just looking for a reason to slam her.

She had kissed _Fang_, the infamous bird kid.

Holy crap.

**How's that for flock mayhem? I hope you liked it! Please review!!**


	19. Get Away From My Man!

**Hey, guys. Sorry this has taken a while. After this chapter, I have no idea where this is going. I just kind of make it up as I go. But I'm excited about this chapter. I love the idea. Here it is!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Maximum Ride.**

"I'm bored."

Angel thought for a moment before replying to Nudge. "Hmm. What should we do?"

"I don't know. It's so… _boring_…"

"Ooh!" Angel jumped up off the couch suddenly. "I have an idea!"

Dr. Martinez was passing by the doorway on her way to the kitchen, and she poked her head in when she heard Angel's announcement. "What are you two up to?"

Angel put on an innocent smile. "We're going to put on a play for Max and Fang. You know, to make them feel better."

"Aww. That's sweet. I'm sure they'll love that." Dr. Martinez smiled at the girls and moved on.

"Angel?" Nudge stood up beside her. "What _kind_ of play? I mean, I don't have any ideas… why do we want to do that for just Max and Fang, anyway? What about Iggy? And where's Ella been? I've, like, barely seen her since Max pummeled Iggy!"

Angel's eyes glazed over for a second, and then she said, "Ella is in Iggy's room. They're talking."

"Talking…?"

"Yeah. Just that. So far. Anyway, our play… I know a lot that you don't." She grinned. "About Max and Fang."

_Two hours later…_

"Hey, Max? Fang?"

Angel and Nudge opened Max's bedroom door and went inside. The Gasman followed closely behind them, grinning mischievously. Max and Fang sat up and stared as the three kids assembled at the foot of the bed.

"What is it?" Max asked, her brow furrowing.

"We put together a play for you," Angel said sweetly. "We worked really hard. Do you want to see it?"

"Sure," she replied, and leaned back on Fang's shoulder. He turned away from her to cough into his arm, and then he put his other one snugly around her middle.

Gazzy lay down on the floor, Angel kneeled next to him, and Nudge stood behind him. She cleared her throat and began to talk, surprising not in run-on sentences. "Once upon a time, there was a boy and a girl. The boy got really hurt, and the girl was worried about him."

"Fang!" Angel overdramatically said to Gazzy, leaning over him. "Fang, Fang, you can't die! Please don't die! Please!"

As Max and Fang watched in horror, realizing what this was, she leaned down and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek, just to the left of his lips. Gazzy slapped his hand over his mouth while crying out. "Max, ouch! That hurt! Ugh, go away so I can kill Ari."

"Both the girl and the boy pretended they weren't affected by the kiss," Nudge went on sadly. "Even thought it was _totally_ obvious they were completely in love. But, um, anyway. They went on being best friends, until jealousy issues caused a rocky spot in their relationship."

At this point, Gazzy sprang up off the ground, Angel dashed to the side, and Nudge threw her arms around him, making kissing noises. "Oh, Nick, why do you _think_ I want you in my class? You're _so_ cute."

From her spot on the bed, Max glared and crossed her arms over her chest. Fang smirked and pressed his lips to her forehead.

Nudge quickly changed gears. "Sam, this was a great date. It was _so_ much fun. Oh, Sam, you're such a good kisser!"

Now Max was the one with the cocky look while Fang's jaw tightened, his eyes narrowed. Dr. Martinez showed up in the doorway and opened her mouth, but stopped when she saw the kids grinning and the couple sitting on the bed with those expressions on their faces.

Angel and Gazzy sat on the floor, close enough so that their hips touched. Angel crossed her arms over her knees and planted her face down on them. The Gasman started rubbing her back briskly, not slowly and gently like Fang had done that night in the cave.

"One night, the two lovebirds-- hahaha, get it, lovebirds? 'Cause, we're, you know, part bird, and-- right, well, they were alone in a cave. It was the perfect time for the boy to make his move."

"And I did so well with 'making moves,'" Fang muttered. Max elbowed him in the ribs, causing him to make an 'oof' noise.

"What the heck are you _doing_?" snapped Angel, looking up at Gazzy.

"Change your freaking mind!" he yelled in her face, and then kissed her on the cheek for a long time. In the doorway, Dr. Martinez snorted, covering her mouth with a hand to try and conceal her laughter.

While Gazzy was "kissing" Angel, Nudge moved to lay down beside him. A moment later, Angel hopped up and said, "Fang! I don't get this! I'm running from you!" And she dashed across the room.

"The girl had to have surgery on her arm," Angel narrated as Gazzy grabbed Nudge's hand and held it. "The boy held her hand and stayed beside her the whole time. But when the girl had a dose of Valium to get her through the surgery, she started saying very weird things."

"Oh my…" Max put her face in her hands while Fang put his mouth next to her ear, kissed it, and whispered, "You _looove_ me." One of her hands shot out to slap him.

"Fang, I love you so much!" Nudge gushed. "I just want you to hold my hand, because I _loooove_ you _soooo_ much!"

"Okay, this is--" The Gasman cut Max off.

"Pick a tree, I'll go carve our initials in it."

Nudge scrambled to the side, Gazzy sprang up off the ground, and Angel ran to him from across the room, leaping into his arms. "Fang! I missed you! Don't leave me ever, ever again!"

"I won't," Gazzy said in the most melodramatic, mushy voice he could muster. "I won't. Not _ever_."

"Didn't sound like that," Fang muttered before sneezing.

"You did," Max said decidedly. "It was the most un-Fanglike thing you've ever said."

"And then," Nudge sighed. "The boy tried to make yet another move. But this one didn't go any better than the last one did."

Angel and the Gasman were sitting side by side again, and Gazzy reached out to take Angel's hand. Then he turned to look at her. "You're such a freaking _pain_!"

"_What_?" she snapped, just before he kissed her on the cheek. She kept her eyes open and glared at him as he kept his lips there.

"I seem to remember being kissed back," Fang said softly, so only Max could hear him. "You weren't giving me the stink eye when it happened."

Angel finally pulled back from Gazzy, started stuttering, and dashed across the room again.

"_That_ happened, though," he finished, and Max gave him a dirty look. "What? I'm just measuring the accuracy of their parody of our romantic past."

"Pretty soon you'll be measuring the amount of face you have left," she told him, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Soon, another girl came into the picture," Nudge said. "A girl named… dun, dun, dun… Brigid Dwyer."

This time both Nudge and Angel were in the scene. The Gasman told Nudge, "You're so smart."

"You seem older than fourteen," she replied sweetly, batting her eyelashes at him.

"Oh," Max groaned. "For the love--"

"Get away from my man!" Angel screamed, lunging at Nudge and tackling her to the ground.

Dr. Martinez raised her eyebrows, and Max threw her hands up in protest. "That never happened!"

The Gasman leaned over Angel and said in a voice that sounded less low and dark and more ghostly, "There will always be a you and me, Max."

From under Angel, Nudge began to narrate again. "The boy decided to make _another_ move, and this time the girl didn't run away from him. But, um, we're not going to show that part, because it turned into a make-out session in a desert."

"A _what_?" asked Dr. Martinez, looking at Max and Fang, who were currently avoiding her eyes.

"Nothing, Mom."

"Anyway." Angel and Gazzy were now standing, facing each other. "The girl had to complete a death mission, and she and the boy had to say goodbye."

"Be careful," Gazzy whispered, moving nonexistent hair out of his sister's face. "I've got your back."

"Oh my gosh, Fang, you're so perfect for me, I love you with every breathe in my lungs! And air sacs."

"You read my books?!"

Angel didn't answer, but threw her arms around the Gasman's neck and kissed his cheek for a long time, the way they'd been faking all the kisses. As they stayed like that for a few moments, Nudge sighed happily. "The girl had finally accepted for love for the boy. And now they could live happily ever after."

Max looked murderous, Fang looked a cross between that and amused, and the kids were grinning at each other, obviously proud of their work. Still standing in the doorway, Dr. Martinez shook her head.

"Honey, you have one messed up love life."

**I'm not sure Dr. M would actually say that last line… I mean, she tried to discuss it with Max in TFW, but that was before she knew all the details… anyhow, I'm very sorry this took so long, but on the plus side, I know what the next chapter is! And it involves Fang's blog! **

**You know what a very good deed would be? Making me happy by sending me a review!**


	20. Crickets

**CHAPTER 20!!! : D**

**Wow, this is officially the longest fan fiction I've ever written. Actually, last chapter made it the longest… but twenty is a better milestone than nineteen.**

**And I'm updating regularly… that has never happened with me before. I hope I can keep it up!**

**Well, I promised you Fang's blog… so here is Fang's blog. Enjoy!**

Fang was sitting up in Max's bed with his laptop on his lap. Max was asleep, her head next to his thigh on the bed. One of his hands was running absentmindedly through her hair as he used the other to log into his blog.

As the latest post came onto the screen-- one he couldn't remember typing, because he never started with "hello"-- Fang momentarily lost his emotionless mask as his eyes popped out of his head.

_I never posted anything to Lissa_, he thought. _And I never got a comment from her, either._

Then he remembered he hadn't checked his blog since he got sick.

Within five minutes, Fang had located the comment.

_hey nicky-poo! I miss u sooooo much! I luv u! xoxo, lissa_

How did she know…?

Oh. She didn't.

"Those little…" Fang growled to himself and set about tracing where "Lissa's" comment had come from. It came from Baltimore, just as he'd suspected. He didn't know who in the flock had made the comment or the post, but they would be paying.

**Welcome to Fang's Blog!**

**Today's Date: August 30, 2009 **(A/N: Because it's supposed to be the same day Nudge and Angel made the post, and that's the date on theirs. I just realized that according to the dates on the blog posts in Chapters 3 and 18 they were made a month apart, but in the story it's only supposed to be a couple days. Oops.)

**You are visitor number: Something very high.**

**Yo,**

**I've deleted it now, but I'd like to tell everybody who read that… hostile post from earlier today that it was **_**not me**_**. It was someone else in the flock, and while I don't know who yet, once I get better they will be in a lot of trouble.**

**If you have any final words for the rest of the flock, you should send them in now before I get my hands on their scrawny little bird kid necks.**

**Fly on,**

**Fang**

"Fang?"

Fang looked down to see Max blinking sleepily, rubbing her eyes. "Hey."

"What're you doing?" she mumbled, then coughed violently into her hand.

"Nothing," he said, patting her back. "Go to sleep. You look tired."

"Like you don't," she grumbled, but rolled over. A minute later, her breathing slowed, and Fang smiled to himself as he signed into the chat room he'd recently set up on the blog.

**Fang's Blog Chatroom**

_**Fang has joined the chat**_

**Wingsrule: dude, wud u shut up? If u don't like the flock then get outta here**

**WeirdoInToledo: Wow, nice spelling and grammar. I'm not totally against the flock. I'm just saying that the whole genetic engineering thing is not as fascinating as it's made out to be. It's science.**

**FaxForever: IT IS!! they hav wings, theyre 98% human**

**Ichooseyou: OMG! FANG IS IN HERE!!**

**Wingsrule: OMG HIIII FANG**

**FaxForever: FANG, UR AMAZIN**

**WeirdoInToledo: Yes, just as amazing as every other guy in America.**

**Fang: Hi, guys. Thanks for checking out the blog. WeirdoInToledo, I can assure you that our situation is unlike anything you could just dream up.**

**Wingsrule: tell him to bac off, fang!**

**Ichooseyou: I always check out ur blog, fang I luv u!**

**WeirdoInToledo: The only difference between me and you is that you fly with abnormal growths on your back, and I have to take an airplane.**

_**Fang has opened a private chat with WeirdoInToledo**_

**Fang: Hey. I'm wondering how you could think your life is just as normal as mine.**

**WeirdoInToledo: I told you. The only difference is the way we get in the air.**

**Fang: Yeah, plus the fact that me and my family are being hunted, and the two percent of my DNA that is bird…**

**WeirdoInToledo: Dude, I'm sixteen, and I have a degree from Harvard.**

**Fang: I'm not sixteen yet and I've been in more life-or-death fights than you can count.**

**WeirdoInToledo: I was knocked out for two weeks when our TV cabinet fell forward and hit my head.**

**Fang: While my family was on the run, I got to watch TV once a month. Maybe.**

**WeirdoInToledo: I grew up in a three-room apartment above my grandparents' bar.**

**Fang: My girlfriend has a voice in her head.**

**WeirdoInToledo: My girlfriend breeds crickets.**

**Fang: I have a hard time believing you could get a girl.**

**WeirdoInToledo: I could say the same thing about you.**

**Fang: We go way back. What's your story? Meet at the Funny Farm?**

**WeirdoInToledo: Actually, at the insane asylum, when we were both there to visit our mothers.**

**Fang: Somehow, that doesn't surprise me.**

**WeirdoInToledo: And my mom made a prediction that the two of us, even though we'd just met, were soul mates. We were ten then. Six years later, look where we are.**

**Fang: I still win. A six-year-old bird kid read my mind and told my girlfriend that I loved her, and the voice in her head said that we were soul mates.**

**WeirdoInToledo: You are making this stuff up. Wings are possible. Mind-reading and voices? No.**

**Fang: Says the guy who met his girlfriend in an insane asylum.**

**WeirdoInToledo: Which is weirder than meeting her in a dog crate.**

**Fang: …no, I'm pretty sure growing up in an evil science lab beats going to see somebody in a hospital.**

**WeirdoInToledo: Does it now?**

**Fang: Yep. It does.**

"Fang," moaned Max. "Stop _typing_, you're being really loud!"

"Don't get your knickers all in a bunch," he said under his breath, but Max heard and smacked him.

**WeirdoInToledo: You're dense, man.**

**Fang: Part of my charm.**

**WeirdoInToledo: What charm? You'd be lucky to get any charm.**

**WeirdoInToledo: HAHAHAHA LUCKY CHARMS!! GET IT, GET IT? LUCKY TO GET ANY CHARM… LUCKY CHARMS? THE CEREAL? HAHAHAHA.**

**Fang: …**

**WeirdoInToledo: Um, sorry. That was my girlfriend typing.**

**Fang: The one who breeds crickets?**

**WeirdoInToledo: Yeah.**

**Fang: You know, you were right. You win. Your deal is weirder.**

**WeirdoInToledo: Just like always. Ka-boom. **

**Fang: …right… gotta go now…**

As he turned the laptop off, still wondering about the weird dude, Max said, "Finally! You were making racket on that thing forever!"

"Again… don't get your knickers all in a bunch."

"Shut _up_!"

Fang closed the laptop and put it on the bedside table, then turned to look at Max. "So. 'Stay away from my man,' huh?"

She punched him in the shoulder. "That never happened!"

"Sure it didn't."

"It didn't!"

"Whatever you want to tell yourself, Max." He bit his lip, and then said, "Is there any chance you'll ever breed crickets?"

**I thought of the chat room thing at lunch the other day, and then ran around the lunch room trying to find a pen so I could write it down on a napkin. I didn't want anyone to see it but I also didn't want to forget it, so I went ahead and wrote it down with the people at my table looking at me weird. : D**

**Not sure what I'm doing next chapter yet… I'll think of something. Flock chaos, probably. Hopefully.**

**Press the little green review button… you know you want to…**


	21. Little Bit of Eggy!

**Well… I'm home sick today. Which bites for me, but means you guys get an update!**

**WindClanApprentice112 pointed out that Iggy is getting bored, holed up in his room this whole time, and so this chapter we will check on Iggy. And Ella. Ooooh…**

**As a side note, I've never written Eggy before… I love their couple name, though…**

**Right, got my new Kleenex box sitting here and everything; I'm ready to go! : P**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Maximum Ride.**

"And that's my story of how I got every girl at Venice Beach attached to my hip," Iggy finished. He was sprawled across his bed, one knee in the air, still sporting his black eye and the cast on his wrist.

From her place on the edge of the bed, Ella, thoroughly stunned that the mutant freak in front of her had such a way with girls, said, "Wow. That's _amazing_."

"Well, you know." Iggy shrugged, a cocky grin on his face. "I'm quite the heartbreaker."

"And that one girl really came up to you and suggested Vegas? On the spot?"

"On the spot." The smirk grew. "The funny thing is, _Fang_ was the one trying to get a girl. This was when the flock split because he and Max had a fight, and that was right after she rejected him. Well, the first time. So he was all 'ooh, I'm gonna find a chick,' but poor guy couldn't get one. They all came running to the Ig-man. But you know what?"

"What?"

Iggy propped himself up on one elbow and leaned forward. Ella's breath caught in her throat, and she wondered how he knew to stop right about six inches from her face.

"None of them were my cup of tea." And then he closed the distance between their lips.

Ella didn't do anything at first, shocked that when he could have any girl in the world-- well, at Venice Beach, anyway-- he was kissing _her_. Then she recovered and managed to kiss him back, very softly, before they broke apart.

Iggy reached out and put one finger on her cheek. "Your skin… it's like chocolate milk."

"Is that a good thing?"

"Great thing."

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"How much longer are we going to sit here?" Nudge whined. "I'm bored."

"Until Iggy goes down the hall to the bathroom!" Angel replied.

"That could take forever. And besides, Dr. Martinez warned him about the hole. Remember?"

"Yeah," Angel said slowly, as if she was talking to a toddler. "But he just kissed Ella, and--"

"He _what_? Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, he _kissed_ Ella? But-- whoa. I never thought-- _whoa_! And now there's like two flock couples except is Ella actually part of the flock? She's like _all_ our sisters, but we don't see her a whole lot. And duh, she doesn't have wings, but still--"

Angel clapped a hand over Nudge's mouth. "Shh! Listen. All he's thinking about is this kiss, so he won't be thinking about the hole!"

"Oh! I get it! You know--"

"Wait. Iggy is going to the bathroom now!"

Both girls fell silent as they gazed up at the hole in the ceiling above their heads. They'd stretched a net across it, and Gazzy had helped them "drill" holes in the ceiling so they could attach some kind of special string to it. Now they just had to wait for the poor blind kid to fall into their trap.

_That was amazing. Freaking amazing_, Iggy thought, and Angel giggled. Above them, his footsteps were coming closer and closer.

"Almost there," whispered Nudge, biting her lip and grinning in anticipation.

And then the net fell through the hole, accompanied by Iggy's cries of surprise, and dangled above them.

"What the crap is going on?" he yelled, grabbing at the rope. "Hello? Anyone there?"

"Hi, Iggy," giggled Nudge. "What'cha doing?"

"Well, I don't know! Let me _down_!"

"Hmm," Angel mused. "I don't know, Nudge? Should we let him down?"

"Yes," Iggy snapped. "You should."

"Gazzy!" Nudge called.

The Gasman came running into the kitchen. "What--" He cut short and burst out laughing when he saw Iggy.

"We're cutting him down. Do you have those scissors?"

Gazzy's brow furrowed. "Scissors."

"You know, those special ones for that special, super-tough string you helped us use?"

"Oh. Those. Um… crap."

**Sorry this isn't terribly long; even this took a while to write, I'm just not operating that well today.**

**Review, please!**


	22. The Wedding

**This chapter's so random, haha. But, oh well-- it's what I could think of. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Maximum Ride.**

"Calm down!" the Gasman said, cowering in the corner of the kitchen. Even though there was no way Iggy could get him, he was one big, cussing, intimidating bird kid right now. "I'll get them! I, uh, have to go into town, though…"

"Good, go! And do not come home until you have those scissors!"

"Guys," Nudge said nervously. "I don't think Max would want us to go into town alone, maybe we should--"

"I'm not Fang," Iggy interrupted. "I don't give a rat's ass about what Max wants. I do, however, give a rat's ass about the fact that I am hanging from the ceiling, about to wet myself. I want you three out those doors in five seconds, or you are going to face very, very scary consequences."

The three kids' eyes got wide, and they scrambled for shoes and jackets while Iggy counted down behind them.

"Three… you're cutting it close… two…"

"Bye, Iggy!" Angel called, and let the other two pass before slamming the back door shut behind her.

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"It's this hardware store," the Gasman said as the three of them walked down the street. His head was tilted back so he could look at the fronts of the stores. "It's called 'Jack's Tool Shed' or something."

"Ooh, look at _that_ store!" Nudge squealed, running over to a big display window and pressing her nose to it. "Look at all the clothes! And the hats! Oh, I want _that_ one!"

"Come on," Gazzy groaned, grabbing her arm. "We have to get the scissors and leave."

They only walked a few steps, though, before Angel squealed and pointed at a sign outside a church. "Aww, look at that! It says 'Congratulations John and Katie!'"

"ZOMG, a wedding!" Nudge gasped. "Oh, that's so sweet. Just like Max and Fang!"

The Gasman rolled his eyes. "Seriously, let's _go_."

"It's today! Oh-- it was a quarter til six when we left, right? Yeah. So that means… the wedding's started! Let's go watch!" Nudge exclaimed, turning to Angel. "Do you want to? We can think of it as research for when Max and Fang get married!"

"Yeah! Let's go!"

"Guys," Gazzy called, exasperated, as the two made to enter the church. "We can't go to those people's wedding. We weren't invited."

"We're _crashing_ it," Nudge said in a 'duh' voice. "Plus, I'm the oldest one here, so I'm technically in charge, so you have to follow my orders. And I order you to hurry your smelly butt up."

The Gasman sighed and hurried after the girls, but said, "I'm telling Max when we get home!"

"Then I'll tell her you have a tape of her kissing Fang that you plan to use as blackmail," Angel said nonchalantly, pulling open the door of the church. Nudge waltzed in, Gazzy following her and scowling at his sister.

There was a murmur coming from the sanctuary, and the wedding party appeared to be waiting outside the doors. Two middle-aged women were flitting around, looking frantic. When they saw the three kids, they ran over as best they could in their high heels.

"Megan!" one of them exclaimed, grabbing Nduge's arm. "Where have you been? The wedding should have already started, but nobody know where you were! Why aren't you in your flower girl dress?"

"And are you her friends?" the other woman asked Angel and Gazzy. They nodded reluctantly. "Well, then you can come sit with the guests," she went on, taking their hands. "Come on."

Nudge watched as they were hurried away, but then the woman with her arm was dragging her down the hallway. "Change quickly," she said. "And after the wedding, you are going to be in trouble, young lady. I know you would rather skateboard than dress up, but that's no excuse."

"I love dressing up, really," Nudge said. "M-- my sister hates it, so she doesn't like to take me shopping that much, but when she does I _love_ it."

The woman dragged her into a dressing room, shut the door, and began searching for something. "Megan, don't be stupid. You don't have a sister."

Oh, right. Pretending to be somebody else. Oops. "Oh. Yeah, I knew that. I was just, you know, testing you. Are you looking for the dress? It's right there. And _oh_, it's so pretty!"

The woman grabbed the dress and a pair of flats and handed them to Nudge. "Change. If you didn't look exactly like Megan, I'd say you _weren't_ her. What happened to you? You had to be wrestled to hold still when this dress was fitted."

"Oh, you know." Nudge shrugged out of her jeans and t-shirt and pulled the dress over her head. "I, um, thought about it, and I decided I really liked it!"

"Whatever you say," the woman muttered. She zipped Nudge up and shoved a basket of flower petals into her hands. "No funny business, you hear me? It won't kill you to stand still and act like a lady for once in your life."

"Okay," she replied brightly, and then she was hustled back down the hallway. A minute later, she was walking gleefully down the aisle, tossing petals on the people around her. When she passed Angel and the Gasman, she waved.

As Nudge took her place at the front, Angel winked at her brother, and he grinned in return.

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"Wait," Angel said. "Not yet."

"When?" Gazzy whined. "This is boring."

"After the vows. When they're kissing."

He crossed his arms and sunk down in the pew. "Is that soon?"

"It's right now! Shut up!"

"I do," said the guy-- John, apparently.

"I now pronounce you husband and wife," said the priest. "You may kiss the bride."

As John kissed Katie, Gazzy hit Angel on the arm. "Now! Now, now, now!"

"Ouch! I got it!" Angel's eyes glazed over, and a second later, Nudge rushed forward, coming up behind the bride who was still glued to her new husband, and dumped the remaining flower petals on her head. Then she grabbed the back of the veil and tugged it, hard, so it fell to the floor.

Katie spun around and stared at Nudge, who was now standing there looking confused as to what had just happened. "Megan?!"

Nudge didn't answer. She stood still for a minute, and then she ran right by Katie to John, ripping the corsage off his jacket and shoving it in his face. The Gasman and Angel were doubled over laughing, while everybody around them stared, astonished at what was taking place before them.

"Megan!"

The woman who had dragged Nudge off earlier jumped up from her pew and rushed forward. By now, Nudge was no longer being controlled, and she was looking around frantically for a way around the woman. She, John, and Katie were surrounding her, trying to track her down, but Nudge was too quick. She sidestepped all three of them and then ran down the aisle, motioning frantically for Angel and the Gasman to follow her. The three of them raced out of the church, while the disheveled bride and groom, the wedding party, and the confused guests stared.

Outside, Nudge immediately turned on Angel. "That was _not_ funny! You ruined those people's wedding! I can't believe you did that. I'm telling Max, and--"

"No you're not."

"Are you kidding? That was _so_ mean of you. You totally deserve to be punished. Why _wouldn't_ I tell Max?"

"Because you helped Gazzy get that tape of Max and Fang."

Oh.

Well, then.

**And the next chapter will be what's going on meanwhile, back at the house. I really wanted to get this done today so I worked hard to get it out for you guys! Review, review-- you know you want to.**


	23. Lots of Love Type Stuff

**Okay, my wonderful readers, I have a question for you. I was considering writing The Final Warning in Fang's point of view. I know everybody hates that book, but here's the thing: I was thinking there could be scenes with Brigid we never saw, what Fang really thinks of her, stuff like that. Because I stick by my belief that Fang never really liked her like that, because a) he loved Max and b) he's too smart to date an adult when he's just a kid.**

**Yeah, so the question is: Would you guys be interested in reading something like that? There's stuff all over this site in Fang's POV, and somebody is doing School's Out Forever in his POV (it's great, by the way-- highly recommended), so I thought I'd take a challenge and try to make something good with TFW, the book nobody likes. It would involve Faxness, for sure. Thoughts?**

**And meanwhile… here is this!**

**Oh-- ShadowStalker, I don't mind, you can use my stuff for your videos. : )**

**Disclaimer: Is this even necessary anymore? I don't own Maximum Ride, the person or the series, and as fun as it would be to own her boyfriend… nope.**

"Max!" Dr. Martinez hurried up the stairs at the house, holding her cell phone in one hand. "Max, are you in your room?"

"Yeah," Max croaked. Dr. Martinez hurried down the hallway and poked her head in her room. Max and Fang were sitting up in the bed, watching TV.

"Honey, I just got a call from my office," she said. "They're going to have to perform emergency surgery on a dog but they can't start without me. I have to catch the next plane home."

"Aw, Mom." Max crawled over Fang to get off the bed and crossed the room to hug her mother. "I wish you didn't have to go. You just got here."

"I know," Dr. Martinez replied, hugging her back. "I'll come visit again soon, okay? Until then…" At this she pulled away and looked pointedly at Fang. "You two be careful."

"Mom," Max groaned, her cheeks turning pink. "Stop. Please."

Dr. Martinez laughed. "Sorry, sweetie. I couldn't resist. Now, you all take care, all right? Stay in bed until you feel better. Make sure Iggy doesn't move his wrist too much-- you may need to bandage it again, now that I think about it, since he's been hanging in that net in the kitchen. Oh, and--"

"We've got it under control," Max said, smiling and gently pushing her mother towards the door. "Safe flight, Mom."

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"Ella! Get your things together! Hurry up!"

Ella sighed and stuck her fingers through the holes in the net, finding Iggy's and squeezing them. "I have to leave."

"Nooo," he wailed. "Don't leave me here alone to deal with the kids and Max and Fang salivating over each other."

She giggled. "I'm sorry. I wish you could come with us."

"Me too. But you know… potential death threatening situations following me everywhere, blah blah blah."

Ella stood on her tiptoes so she was eye level with Iggy. Holding onto the net for support, she leaned forward and pressed her lips to his through a hole. He stroked the back of her hand with his thumb and moved his other arm to pull her closer, but it wasn't exactly easy.

"Ella! Where are-- oh, my."

0000000000

Dr. Martinez and Ella had left, and for some reason the house had fallen very quiet.

"Looks like Iggy got the kids under control," Fang muttered.

"Iggy does _not_ have the kids under control," Max snapped, climbing out of bed. She stood up too fast and held her head. "Oh. Geez." The dizziness passed, and she marched towards the door. "I will be back."

Of course, Fang got up and shuffled along behind her. They went down the stairs, Max calling out for the kids.

"Where are you guys? There's, like, no noise coming from down here and--"

She'd arrived in the kitchen, and stopped short when she saw Iggy. Fang bumped into her. They stared, and Iggy stared back in their general direction.

"Do I _want_ to know? Where are the kids?"

"They went into town to get--"

"You let them go into town alone?!" Max yelled as best she could with her croaky voice. "Are you insane? _Nudge_ is in charge, genius! Who knows what they're up to? Do you realize how defenseless the three of them are? You idiot!"

"If you haven't noticed," Iggy growled. "I am hanging from the ceiling in a _net_. They forgot to buy the scissors they need to cut me down. If they don't come back, they deserve it."

Max put her hands on her hips and glared at him, even though the look was totally wasted. When Fang put his hand on her arm, she turned and looked at him. He wiggled his eyebrows, and she nodded, catching on.

"Fang," she sighed in what was supposed to be a dreamy voice. Slowly, she lowered herself to the floor, sitting down cross-legged. Fang silently sat beside her, and they smirked at each other.

"Oh, could you guys not--"

"Max," he whispered, loud enough for Iggy to hear. "Max… oh, man, you taste good…"

"For the love--"

Max hit the linoleum floor with her hand, making a thumping noise. "Get off me, Fang," she said, adding a girlish giggle at the end. The look on Iggy's face was priceless, and they both had to bite their lips in order to not burst out laughing.

"Nope," Fang said huskily. "Never."

Max grabbed his hand and planted loud kisses all over it. "Oh, geez, Fang," she breathed. She gasped. "Fang!"

"Get a room, you two!"

They still weren't doing anything but sitting to each other, hands joined, but the poor blind kid didn't need to know that.

Fang leaned over and started kissing her cheek, in-between kisses murmuring, "You're amazing, you're wonderful, beautiful… you are the wind beneath my wings…"

"STOP!"

Max pulled away from him and gripped her stomach, trying hard to keep her laughter silent. Fang grinned, holding a hand over his mouth.

Things were quiet for a moment while the two controlled themselves, and Iggy tried to recover from the trauma of what he'd just heard.

And then Max slapped the floor again, making it sound like they were laying there. Except that this time, after she did it, Fang pounced, actually pinning her down.

"Hello," he breathed with a smirk.

"We're still sick," Max said wearily. "This is making me tired."

Fang started kissing her face, and she shut her eyes to just take it in. His kisses were soft, comforting, not hungry at all, but Max decided they weren't done torturing Iggy. And so she moaned, very loudly.

"Faaang!"

**Little on the short side. Oh well. Poor Iggy. Heehee.**

**Review, review, please please please, and let me know what you think about the Final Warning thing! I'm not entirely sure I'm going to do it yet, so give me your input! I read it all!**


	24. Revenge

**The consensus seems to be thumbs up on the Final Warning thing. I will have that up before too terribly long, for anybody interested. : )**

**Disclaimer: Don't own.**

"Okay," Iggy hissed, pacing back in forth in the kitchen. The kids were standing there watching him. They'd finally come home with the scissors and cut Iggy down, Max and Fang had retreated upstairs, and since Dr. Martinez was gone, they declared that Iggy was in charge again. "We are getting revenge on those two-- not going to say what I'm thinking. Angel, don't read my mind right now. Alright, so here's the deal. Angel, go 'sweet talk' Fang into giving you his laptop." She scurried off. "Nudge, you're going to hack Fang's e-mail. Gasser, want to help with the… shall we say… juicy gossip?"

"Um…" While Nudge followed Angel, the Gasman stared at the evil grin on Iggy's face. "I don't know…"

"Yeah you do. Come on." Iggy grabbed his wrist and dragged him into the living room, where Angel had already mind-controlled Fang into giving up the laptop, and it was balanced on Nudge's knee. She was feeling the computer screen, typing, and feeling it again.

"There's lots of _love_ feelings on here," she giggled.

"Gag me with a spoon," Iggy sighed, plopping down next to her on the couch. "Okay. Obviously, I can't really help here, so here's your to-do list. First: create the e-mail address of Lissa. Just Lissa; I don't know her last name. Second: Send an e-mail from it to Fang's inbox. And third: Write an e-mail back to her, and make sure there's a copy in the sent folder. Make it gushy, stuff like 'Nick, I can't wait to see you, as soon as you leave Max we can run off into the sunset together…'"

Now that he knew what was going on, the Gasman started cackling, and he high-fived Iggy. The two girls, however, looked skeptical.

"That seems really, really mean," Nudge said, unusually quiet. "We read those books and did that play. We know how upset Max got when she saw Fang and Lissa, and Fang hadn't even kissed her yet! Now they're _together_, and if she thought he was cheating on her, she'd be _sooo_ mad. I bet she'd dump him, for sure, and then their friendship would be ruined, too, and that's just about the worst thing that could happen to Max!"

"And what about Fang?" Angel asked seriously. "He waited a really long time for Max, Iggy. He could have just given up and moved on, but he loves her _so much_. Sometimes, his thoughts about how much he wanted Max were so sad, I almost cried. If we framed Fang and she broke up with him, I don't know if he could take it."

Iggy stroked his chin for a second, pretending to think, and then said, "Yeah, that's fine with me."

"Iggy!" The girls exclaimed. The Gasman was still giggling.

Angel stood up, crossing her arms. "I'm going on strike from this."

Nudge sprang up next to her. "Me too."

The Gasman watched them march out, then turned to Iggy. "We can still do it. She already opened Fang's e-mail, and she forgot to close it."

Iggy grinned. "Perfect."

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Later, the Gasman was crouched around the corner from Max's room, waiting for Fang to go to the bathroom. The laptop was next to him on the floor, open to Fang's e-mail account, ready to give to Max when the time was right.

Only a couple minutes later, Fang came into the hall and strode down to the bathroom. As soon as the door shut behind him, Gazzy picked up the laptop and raced to Max's room.

"Hey, sweetie," she said when he came in. Her voice was all croaky. "What's up?"

"Fang let us borrow his laptop earlier," he said, walking over and placing it next to her on the bed. "We're done now."

"Oh, ok," Max said, smiling at him. "Thanks."

The Gasman smiled back and left the room, pulling the door shut behind him. Then he walked back downstairs, trying not to burst out laughing, in case she could still hear him.

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Max picked up Fang's laptop and slid it into her lap. Immediately a message at the top caught her eye. In the "From" column, it said "Lissa." The topic was "Heyyy baby!"

She narrowed her eyes and clicked on the message.

_Hey Nicky,_

_I miss you lots and lots! I'm so sorry you're sick. Stupid Max. Don't you get tired of pretending to go out with her just so she'll get off your back? Well, as soon as you're better, you have to make one of your midnight trips to visit me! I live for those!_

_xoxo Lissa_

Fang wouldn't do this to her, Max thought after she finished the message. But… it couldn't hurt.

She clicked the sent folder… and gasped. Right on top was a message to Lissa. Holding her breath, she opened it up.

_Lissa,_

_Don't worry. In a couple of weeks, I'm breaking up with her. Then we can be together for good. I can't fight this feeling any longer. I have to be with you._

_Love,_

_Nick_

"Hey."

Max looked up. Fang was standing in the doorway in his plaid PJ pants and black shirt, like everything was all normal and dandy. He was smiling at her, but it disappeared quickly at her glare.

"Get the hell out."

**Dramaaa! Don't worry, this isn't going to turn into a terribly serious story. And they'll make up, of course. You can't stop the Fax.**

**Anywho, review, review, please!**


	25. Proud to Be Happy

**The Final Warning in Fang's POV is up, for anybody interested. : ) It's called The Dark Side of Antarctica.**

"You rang?"

Fang sat up in bed-- his own bed-- and glared at Iggy. "I don't know what Max is mad about, but I _know_ you're behind it."

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Iggy said calmly.

"Don't give me that bullshit, Iggy," Fang snapped. His lips were pressed into a thin, angry line. "She's mad at me, and I don't know why. I need to know so I can make up with her. _Need _to, Iggy."

For a moment Iggy almost felt sorry for him. Almost. And then he remembered the make-out session he was forced to listen to, and it melted away.

"If it's that big a deal, just talk to her about it," he said, knowing full well that this wouldn't work.

"I _tried_. She wouldn't cooperate. She yelled and cussed me out and wouldn't give me the laptop back."

Iggy whistled and said, not exactly sympathetically, "Sounds tough."

"You think _that_ sounds tough? You're about to learn what tough is, dude. Because you are my own personal servant until Max takes me back."

"I didn't even do anything!" he lied. "Why are you so mad at _me_? Or at all, for that matter?"

Fang leaned back on his pillows, folding his arms in his lap. "You've possibly ruined my relationship with the only girl who matters."

A full three seconds passed while Iggy was stunned into silence. And then: "Wow, Fang just showed emotion! Call the press!"

Scowling, Fang quickly wiped the feeling out of his voice and said, "Your first job as my personal assistant is some toast and orange juice. Also, I'll need my own puking bucket. And if you'd go to town and buy a red rose, that'd be great."

"What the hell do you need a red rose for?!" Iggy exclaimed, incredulous.

"You're gonna take it to Max on a pillow," he replied calmly. "You're going to bow and hold it out on a nice white pillow, which you might need to buy, too."

"You sure do talk a lot when you're bossing me around," the blind kid griped. "Anything else, _Your Highness_?"

"Nah, that's good." Fang rolled onto his side. Just as Iggy was stepping out of the room, though, he added, "For now."

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"Where are you going, Iggy?" asked Angel sweetly.

"To help Prince Fang get Cinderella back," Iggy grumbled, finishing tying his shoes and standing up. "Gazzy, you're coming. You're half the reason I'm on this stupid trip."

As soon as the boys left, shutting the front door behind them, Nudge and Angel looked at each other.

"Time to talk to Max," Angel said, and Nudge nodded in agreement.

The two got up and trooped upstairs and down the hall to Max's room.

"Max?" Angel called, walking slowly across the floor to her bed. Their fearless leader was curled up on her side, eyes squeezed shut. The six year old wasn't getting any clear-cut thoughts from her: just a general feeling of sadness and anger.

"What is it, Angel?" Max asked wearily, opening her eyes slightly.

"We--"

"Fang isn't cheating on you, Max," Nudge interrupted. "Iggy and Gazzy staged the whole thing. We knew but we told them we wouldn't help. We should have told you what they were planning before you saw those e-mails, so I'm really, really sorry. Really. But Fang loves you! He wouldn't do that to you! It was just Iggy and Gazzy being jerks."

Max believed them. That thing had Iggy written all over it. She'd been too quick to jump on Fang. Reading those e-mails had brought to the surface her hidden fear, and she'd had a knee-jerk reaction. Now, even knowing the e-mails were fake, the fear remained: what if Fang still felt something for Lissa?

"No, Max," Angel said. "It's not like that at all."

"Thanks, sweetie," she said, reaching up to ruffle her hair, then Nudge's. "Thanks for telling me. I'll handle it from here, okay? Go play."

Max thought about how she was going to Fang's room right after the girls left to make up with him, and Angel smiled and hugged her. As soon as she was down the hall and out of mind-reading range, though, she sighed and went right back to her real thoughts.

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"Is there a clerk somewhere?" Iggy asked.

The Gasman looked around. "Um… there's a girl in a red apron over there."

Iggy's eyebrows shot up. "A _girl_?"

"Yeah, I guess… she's your age, I bet."

"What's she look like?"

"Why?" Gazzy asked curiously.

"Just. Tell. Me."

"Um… okay," the kid said, cowering. "She's tall, thin-ish, blonde, curly hair--"

"Tell me where she is."

"Uh… twelve steps, at two o' clock."

Without another word, Iggy started off in the girl's direction while Gazzy watched, his eyes wide. He stopped just about the right distance and said, "Hey."

"Hi," the girl said. "Can I help you?"

"Yes you can," he said, wiggling his eyebrows. The girl looked disgusted, but said nothing, and he kept on. "Did it hurt when you fell--"

The girl reached back and swung a birdkid-worthy punch, getting him right in the jaw. Iggy fell to the ground, holding his face, and Gazzy rushed to his side while the girl scurried off in the other direction.

"We belong together!" Iggy called after her from his spot on the floor. "I'm here buying a rose for another girl who could have decked me like that!"

"You were gonna cheat on her?" the blonde called behind her. "You jerk!"

"No! No! It's-- another guy's girl! I mean, I wasn't trying to steal her, it's a long story… I'm not cheating on anybody!"

"Except _Ella_," Gazzy told him.

"Oh, crap! Forgot about her!"

0000000000

"Dearest Maximum," Iggy said with a scowl as he walked into Max's room, holding the white pillow and rose on top of it. "From Fang."

He knelt beside the bed, as instructed, and stuck the pillow where he thought her nose would be. A moment later, some pressure on the pillow lifted, and then Max gave a croaky kind of laugh.

"What?" he asked irritably.

"What is this, Ig?"

"A rose."

"Really. Hm. Sure looks like a miniature balloon with 'Proud to Be Gay' written on it to me."

"What?!" Iggy thought back to when another worker at the flower store had helped him up and asked what he was looking for, and when he told him he needed help because he couldn't see, the guy had chuckled a little and put something in his hand.

Grabbing the pillow, Iggy ran out of Max's room and down the stairs, to where the kids could barely be heard over the noise of the TV.

"Gazzy! Why didn't you tell me this wasn't a rose?"

"Well, I thought Max might like it even better. I mean, who _isn't_ proud to be happy?"

**Hahaha. How does anybody not love Gazzy?**

**Reviews would be wonderful : )**


	26. I Love You

**Fluff! Yay! See, I told you the Fax couldn't be stopped. : D**

**Disclaimer: Nope, I still do not own Maximum Ride.**

Max was still laying on her side, facing the wall, feeling depressed, when the bedroom door opened slowly. Soft footsteps came towards the bed. Knowing who it was, she tensed up and closed her eyes.

"Hey."

"Go away, Fang."

"Max." Fang rested a hand on her hip, and she immediately moved so he was left holding air. He sighed. "Please talk to me."

"No," she said softly. "I was right. There is no you and me. There really never was."

This statement made Fang's heart drop, and he stood, motionless, staring at Max's back. Then he lowered himself onto the bed and pressed his front against her, draping an arm over her waist. She tried to wriggle out of his grasp, but he just held her tighter. He moved his head so he was speaking directly into her ear. "There will _always_," he murmured, the warm breath making her shiver, "be a you and me."

Max relaxed slightly in his arms, and Fang lightly stroked her stomach. After another moment like that, she turned so they were face to face. "Angel and Nudge told me the notes were fake."

"Then why are you still not talking to me?" he asked, confused, now rubbing the small of her back.

"I just… I've always been afraid, deep down, that…" She finished the sentence in a whisper.

"You've been afraid of what?"

"That you still had feelings for Lissa or Brigid." Max's eyes met Fang's for a split second, and then she looked down at the sheets.

"Max, look at me." She didn't, and with his free hand he tilted her chin up, forcing her to. "Max, they don't mean a thing to me. Never have. You… you're who matters. Nobody else."

"You were kind of all over Lissa… and flirting with Brigid…" she said quietly, biting her lip.

Fang sighed and moved a piece of hair out of Max's face. "When Lissa kissed me," he began, preparing to launch into a long description that was so outside of his norm, "I went with it at first, yeah, but that was because you seemed to have moved past kissing me at the beach, and I was trying to convince myself that I was past it, too. But…" He brushed the backs of his fingers across her cheek, watching her wide eyes. "I couldn't. I just… couldn't forget about how _right_ it felt. And compared to that, kissing Lissa felt so, so wrong. I guess you left before this happened, but… I pushed her off. That was when I realized what you and I have is special. Because I couldn't get that amazing feeling from another girl."

Max was visibly fighting a big smile. "Really?"

"Yeah."

She forced herself to come down from Cloud 9 and ask, "What about Brigid?"

"She's a big pain in the ass," Fang said, a grin playing on his own lips.

Max giggled, then slapped a hand over her mouth, embarrassed. Fang smirked and moved it, kissing her fingers. "Don't worry. That was cute."

She interlaced their fingers and kissed him quickly, then reached down and pulled the covers over them. He pulled her close so they were pressed together, and she rested her head on his chest, then turned away quickly to sneeze into her elbow.

"Guess you're still--" Fang began in a teasing tone, but had to stop short when his nose tingled, and he sneezed, too. Max smirked and cuddled back against him, and he pressed his lips against the top of her head. Just as she was about to drift off to sleep, he whispered, "Max?"

"Hmm?"

"I love you."

Max lifted her face up lazily, leaving a little kiss on his cheek. "I love you too."

**Mushy, gushy, gag-me, Faxy fluff. Gotta love it.**

**Aw, it's sweet. And now I'm half asleep, so I'll just wrap this up and post…**

**Review?**


	27. Iggy Gets Efronized

**READ READ READ:**

**Okay, guys… please don't hate me.**

**I thought about it, and I've decided that this will be the second-to-last chapter of this story.**

**Three reasons:**

**1. I'm running out of ideas. When I started, I had a bunch; now, every chapter is a strain to write. I feel like it's starting to take a turn for the worse; I don't want it to end on a bad note, so I'm ending it now before it gets that way.**

**2. Because of this lack of ideas, I'm afraid my updates will become more infrequent. This is the first story I've updated regularly in a while, if ever. I'd prefer to end it on the note that I stuck with it and did well with keeping it up-to-date, rather than let it get like the others I've written.**

**3. And I have a lot going on. I've got Dark Side of Antarctica going now, and I've been working on another full-length story that I'm not going to post until I finish at least another couple chapters. DSOA is already not being updated as much as it probably should, so I want to be able to focus more attention on that.**

**Lastly, I want to thank everybody who's read or reviewed or both SO MUCH for making this story such a success!! When I got bored in July and posted the first chapter, I hoped I'd get **_**some**_** readers, but I never imagined what I did get. You guys have been great, and I'm really glad I wrote a story you enjoyed!**

**And now, without further ado, here is our next-to-last chapter!**

"Is everything ready?" Angel asked.

Nudge patted the CD player beside her, then held up the hairbrush in her hand. "Yep."

"Good." Angel stood with one foot in the living room and one out, leaning to one side to look down the hallway. "Oh! There he is," she whispered, then called out, "Iggy?"

Iggy came closer, then stopped in front of her. "What's up?"

Angel's eyes glazed over as she focused on his mind. A second later, Iggy held out his hand, and Nudge put the hairbrush into it before pushing the play button on the CD player. While the girls giggled, he waited for the music, and then began to sing the High School Musical song into the brush, doing a beautiful imitation of Zac Efron. **(A/N: If you haven't seen this part of the movie, go look it up on YouTube! It's hilarious. And imagine Iggy in Zac's place.)**

_Everybody's always talking at me_

_Everybody's trying to get in my head_

_I wanna listen to my own heart talking_

_I need to count on myself instead_

Iggy put his hands over his heart and tapped his foot slowly to the beat.

_Did you ever_

_Lose yourself to get what you want?_

_Did you ever_

_Get on a ride, then wanna get off?_

When the next verse came on, he punched the floor, then cringed as pain shot up his arm, a result of using all his superhuman bird kid strength. Still, Angel's mind control made him dash to the opposite end of the room.

_Did you ever push away the ones _

_You should have held close?_

"It looks like an airplane," Nudge said very quietly to Angel, so as not to break the younger girl's concentration. Still, Angel managed to giggle at Iggy's odd motion, down on one knee and spinning his arms slowly around.

_Did you ever let go?_

_Did you ever not know?_

"What is _that_?" Nudge asked, laughing uncontrollably now, as Iggy held his hands in front of his face and moved them forward, then back, and then did it again. "Oh, man, this is priceless."

_I'm not gonna stop, that's who I am_

_I'll give it all I got, that is my plan_

When Iggy threw his hands out to his sides, put his chin in the air, and strutted across the room, Nudge was laughing uncontrollably, tears rolling down her cheeks. "He-- looks-- like a-- oh, my-- valley girl! Hahaha!"

_Will I find what I lost? You know you can_

_Bet on it, bet on it, bet on it, bet on it_

_(Bet on me)_

At the beginning of the verse, Gazzy had come into the room, and he stared as Iggy twirled around like a ballerina, then pounded his chest and threw his fists into air.

"Ig?" he asked, but Iggy, obviously, didn't answer. "Are you trying to be Tarzan?"

_I wanna make it right, that is the way_

_To turn my life around, today is the day_

_Am I the type of guy who means what I say?_

_Bet on it, bet on it, bet on it_

"A _girl_ Tarzan!" Gazzy exclaimed as Iggy did the ballerina and cavemen things again. The kid looked worried, like now he'd never perfect the art of bomb-making now that his mentor was bonkers. "What is _wrong_ with you?"

"Shh!" the girls hissed.

_How will I know if there's a path worth taking?_

_Should I question every move I make?_

_With all I've lost, my heart is breaking_

_I don't wanna make the same mistake_

Iggy kneeled down, his face twisted into an expression of pain, and then he abruptly stood up, clutching his head in his hands as he sang the last line.

"Is he having a brain attack like Max?" the Gasman asked, horrified.

"No, Gazzy!" Nudge told him. "Now shut up!"

_Did you ever_

_Doubt your dream will ever come true?_

_Did you ever_

_Blame the world and never blame you?_

_I will never_

_Try to live a lie again_

Iggy put his hand over his heart again, holding the other one into the air.

_I don't wanna win this game_

_If I can't play it my way_

He ran over to the couch, stepped up on the cushion, and jumped over the back of it, landing in a crouch on the other side. The couch followed, falling on Iggy's back, and Angel allowed him free reign to wriggle out from beneath it before taking control of his mind again.

_I'm not gonna stop, that's who I am_

_(Who I am)_

_I'll give it all I got, that is my plan_

_(That's my plan)_

_Will I find what I lost? You know you can_

Iggy ran up to the Gasman, still bewildered, and stuck a finger in his face on 'you'.

_(You know you can)_

_Bet on it, bet on it, bet on it, bet on it_

_(Bet on me)_

"He's doing the Tarzan thing again," Gazzy whispered.

_I wanna make it right, that is the way_

_To turn my life around, today is the day_

Nudge started laughing again as Iggy did a complex little jig that involved a lot of twirling, throwing his hands in the air, and jumping around.

_Am I the type of guy who means what I say?_

_Bet on it, bet on it, bet on it, bet on it_

"Oh my gosh!" she giggled, doubled over and holding her stomach. "Those little dances are so, like, _funny_!"

_Hold up, give me room to think_

_Bring it on down_

_Gotta work on my swing_

_Gotta do my own thing, hold up_

There were no actual golf clubs sitting around in the living room, but there was an umbrella. Iggy picked it up and started swinging it around, then flung it across the room before trotting over to the window.

_It's no good at all to see yourself_

_And not recognize your face_

_Out on my own, it's such a scary place_

_The answers are all inside of me_

_All I gotta do is believe_

Iggy stared out the window and sang, looking all deep and everything, and by now Gazzy was catching on, so he was laughing, too. After the last line of the verse, Iggy slapped the window, actually creating a dent in it-- bird kid super strength and all-- and turned around fast.

_I'm not gonna stop_

_Not gonna stop 'til I get my shot_

_That's who I am, that is my plan_

_Will I end up on top?_

Doing another dance, Iggy did a jump stop, then flung his arms out to the sides, snapping his wrists down and then doing a little half-skip step.

_You can bet on it, bet on it_

_Bet on it, bet on it_

_You can bet on it, bet on it_

_Bet on it, bet on it_

Moving his fists around more, Iggy made his way across the living room, back over toward the three kids in their current states of hilarity. When he moved one hand back and held the other out in front of him, Nudge choked out, "He-- haha-- looks like-- ha-- he's doing archery!"

_I wanna make it right, that is the way_

_To turn my life around, today is the day_

"More ballerina!" the Gasman said, watching Iggy twirl through the air, his wings out in back of him very slightly. When he was done twirling he leaped up, pulling his knees to his chest, and then landed and kept running around the room.

_Am I the type of guy who means what I say?_

_Bet on it, bet on it, bet on it, bet on it_

_(You can bet on me)_

On the word "me" Iggy stopped, standing still with his arms over his head. Angel made him stand like that for a few seconds, and then stopped controlling his mind. As he stood there and looked confused as to why he was standing in the middle of the living room with his hands in the air and could feel a hairbrush in one of those hands, the kids cracked up, rolling around on the floor, unable to contain themselves.

"What's going on?" he asked them.

"B-- b-- bet all you can, Iggy," Nudge told him.

It took a second, but then Iggy got a look of understanding and, well, extreme anger on his face. "You. Didn't."

"Oh, but we did," Angel told him.

"Why?!"

The girls managed to stand up straight, leaving Gazzy still laughing. The two of them each took one of Iggy's arms.

"That was for what you did to Fang and Max," Nudge informed him.

"They made up!"

"Now, are you ready to go apologize?" Angel asked, ignoring him completely, in her sweet voice.

"Why do I have to apologize? They'll probably just make fun of me for this whole… _song_ thing anyway!"

"Oh," Nudge said as the two girls started to drag him upstairs. "You can _bet on_ that, Iggy."

**See what I mean? My ideas have been reduced to having characters sing High School Musical songs. I think that's a sign it's about time to pull the plug, no? : )**

**Anywho, review? Please?**


	28. Chaos and Weird Al and Fax, Oh My!

**Okay, guys… this is it! The very last chapter… a bittersweet moment…**

**I know I had the long author's note last chapter, so I won't ramble again, but I just wanted to say THANK YOU again to all my readers! You're the reason I stuck with this story for 28 chapters! I love you guys!!**

**And now, without further ado… here we are. A final bit of Faxness, a final bit of flock mayhem, a final bit of hating on Iggy… it's a beautiful thing. : )**

**The very last Sick Days disclaimer: I don't own Maximum Ride!**

"Fang, Max!" Angel sang as she and Nudge dragged Iggy into Max's room. Both of them groaned and sat up, their noses red and hair tousled. "Iggy has something to tell you!"

"No, Iggy doesn't," he muttered, trying to break from the girl's grasp. They held tight, though, and plunked him down in a chair as the Gasman ran in, apparently recovered from his laughing fit.

"Now, Iggy," Nudge said in a sickly sweet voice, "what is it you wanted to say?"

"That I'm going to force Angel to mind-control you into singing 'Hit Me Baby One More Time' to Gazzy?"

"Eew!" squealed the Gasman, and Nudge turned to glare at him. "I mean, I love Nudge, because she's my sister, but-- she's still a _girl_, she still has cooties-- yuck, that's icky."

"Not as icky as your digestive system," she snapped.

"_Just us, eating all alone, you said, take the pizza home--_"

"Okay!" Max said loudly. "The judge is stepping in here. Nudge, call down, you don't have cooties. Gazzy, no more constipation song. Now, Iggy, what do you have to say?"

"That--"

Angel pinched him, and he yelped. "No, not that. You're going to say what I told you to say."

By now Fang was lolling his head from side to side, meaning he was waiting for the long discussion to be over. Iggy scowled and said, "Fine. Max, Fang… Fax…"

"Iggy."

"I'm sorry I wrote fake notes to make it seem like Fang had a secret lover."

Max narrowed her eyes.

"And I'm sorry the secret lover was the Red-Haired Wonder."

Fang narrowed his eyes.

"And I'm sorry I almost ruined Fang's relationship with… the only girl who matters to him."

Catching the way Iggy's voice suddenly turned soft and no longer sarcastic, Max turned to Fang and asked, "Did you say that…?"

He half-smiled at her. "Yeah."

She smiled back. "You're sweet."

The smile grew into a smirk, and he said, "I know," and took her face in his hands, kissing her softly. The girls simultaneously said, "Aww," the Gasman gagged loudly, and Iggy said, "Oh, geez."

When Max and Fang pulled apart, she rested her head on his shoulder and said, "Ig, we forgive you."

"Good. I'm happy for you guys," Iggy said.

"See?" Nudge told him. "That wasn't so bad, was it?"

"Sure, whatever," he said, prying her and Angel's hands off his arms. "Now, if you excuse me--"

A huge sneeze interrupted him, and he doubled over, cupping his hands over his mouth. Everybody stood still, staring at each other in horror, and then watched as Iggy slowly turned on Max and Fang.

"I'm gonna kill you two."

And so it begins again.

**It's short, sorry… like I said, I was just running out of ideas. But this wraps it up real good… like I said, it has the Faxness, the flock chaos, and the Iggy hating! What more could you ask for?**

**Well… since this is the end, I feel like I should say something meaningful…**

**Thanks again for reading! Thanks a TON!**

**One final Sick Days review? : D**


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